Be Nice

Be nice to your server. Ok, I realize that's impossible for some people, so at the very least don't be mean. You don't know what s/he has to put up with at work. Allow me to offer up a picture of a not necessarily typical but not out of the ordinary weekend night at work.

So the night starts off like any other. Bitchy B, the evil bitch of a pain in my ass coworker, starts in on me. Making her stupid, snide, bitchy comments about every single thing I do. Whatever. After three years of dealing with this on a nightly basis, I'm used to this woman acting like a bratty, spoiled, immature child. I can deal with it. (And if you can believe it, I am capable of talking to her, even telling her back off, in such as a way as to not start problems. Imagine that, acting like a mature, grown adult and trying to get along and resolve any problems quickly and politely at work. Crazy, I know!)
Big Boss is on vacation. As with any workplace, when the boss is away employees will play. This means during this time, I'm living in fear of my purse being hijacked. I may go out after my shift is over to find my car moved (we used to have a server who was 6'4 or so … or about a good foot and a half taller than me. They once got him to move my car. I thought I was going to die seeing him try to get out of my car with the seat pulled up so close it's practically touching the steering wheel), that there's whipped cream in there, that my keys have been hidden, or any number of other "pranks" (my personal favorite? Individually saran-wrapping each and every one of B's pills – oh did I not mention B has a problem with that and gets in a really super shitty bitchy mood when she hasn't had her pills? – pills. It never gets old to them). Further more, Chef is now in charge. This means alternately slacking off and making my tables wait 15 minutes longer than they should for their food or getting on a high horse and trying to enforce all the rules that have gone by the wayside for the time Big Boss is away. It also means that there's nobody who can effectively call Stoner Chef on his bullshit. He's an arrogant asshole and doesn't even really listen to Big Boss, but forget it if someone else, even someone like Chef who's above him on the work totem pole, is a good employee and worker, and knows what she's talking about, is trying to say anything to him. This means that it takes him 20 minutes to get my desserts. He then goes off on me when I won't cut a piece of pie. First of all, you don't trust me in the kitchen. Hot shit and knives and me do not mix, for my own safety. Trust me. Second of all, it may not be hard to do, but I couldn't do it neatly and make the presentation look nice because I've never been shown how to do that. Why? IT'S NOT MY DAMN JOB. Which is my third point. Do I ask you to run food to my tables? Have the words "why can't you do it? Do you know how hard it is to run the pitcher of ice tea over to a table and refill their glasses?" or "it's not my job [said in regards to something that most definitely is the job of said person speaking and not in any way the job of the person they are speaking to]" come out of my mouth? No. Because I do my job. I expect the same of you, Stoner Chef. I don't know why, as time has shown I shouldn't.
As though the night isn't going well enough in the coworker department at this point, I am then kind of assaulted by Psycho D. It's a well known fact in the service industry that all dishwashers are crazy. However, D (who we rarely refer to by his name, it's always Crazy D) is a whole nother level. Bringing back a dish will result in us girls (at my work, the wait staff is all females, with only one exception) being called any and every name in the book. I don't care to repeat the foul things he says to or about us, but m-fing C is probably the most common epithet we get. Anyway, on this day as I have my tray and am setting glasses back on dishwasher rack, I am treated to being (lightly) smacked upside the head. "Don't hit me" I tell him firmly. He doesn't really have any response, except to say that he hopes I choke and die as I walk away. "D, I can hear you!" (The "you fucking asshole piece of shit" is added under my breath as I walk out of earshot). So great, in addition to being verbally assaulted by this fuckhead, I am now being physically assaulted as well. Just great. (This is also not the first, or worst, instance of being physically assaulted by him either. He once shoved the big, heavy door to the cooler into me as he walked past me. As he was coming from the side where he could see that I was there, I know it was done on purpose.)

This is all back of the house issues (Thankfully, on this night I didn't even have one asshole table. Everybody was wonderful and nice and patient during a crazy busy night … and they all tipped at least decently if not well. So that was good). They don't faze me too much (except the assault, which I should not have to put up with … yet I will because apparently there are no other crazy people or 16 year olds in town who could be hired to replace this jackass). I'm used to them. And like I said, I have this crazy idea about trying to get along with my coworkers and not start shit and trying to keep the work environment a good, friendly one. (I really shouldn't complain I guess. With the three exceptions listed above, Bitchy B, Stoner Chef, and Psycho D, I've never had a problem with anyone there. Nor do they have any problems with anyone else. Just those three create more than enough problems for the rest of us.) Every workplace has these people. There's always that one person who's miserable and makes it their mission to bring everybody else down and make them as miserable as they are. That person who acts like such a martyr, like they alone know the proper way to do everything around there and nobody else knows anything or ever does anything right, that they carry the weight of everybody else in the company. There's that person who thinks they're in charge, who acts like your boss when really you're on equal footing in the company. Who feels the need to police your every move, tell you how stupid you are for not doing it right, then go tattle on you. That person who goes on a total power trip, even if they are not given any kind of power. For me, these people are rolled into one with B. Then there's the person who's too cool for school, who thinks they're so much better than this. That they're like above the rules somehow or exempt from them. There's always one person who won't do their work, or tries to get you to do. This is Stoner Chef. It's a fact of any work place that you'll have to deal with people like that.
Well, it's not any different in a restaurant. Except that you have to brush that aside, plaster a big old smile on your face and act thrilled as hell to be there. You could argue you have to do similarly at any job that involves dealing with the public, and you do; however, in retail or customer service your pay isn't affected by how polite, happy, and nice you can be. If you're not overly smiley and friendly to a customer, it doesn't affect how much you make. When you're serving or bartending, it does. I'm sure you know how hard it is to pretend like you're not in a bad mood or act like you're not pissed off at a jerk customer or idiot coworker or something. Now just imagine if how much you make, and thus your livelihood, is affected by how well you can fake it. This is what it's like for a server. Remember the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." If you wouldn't want somebody being a jerk to you in that situation, don't you be one to someone else.