I'm curious to hear about what eating out is like for other people. I started to waitress when I was young, so I'm not really sure. By the time I was old and mature enough to realize hey this person is working their butt off to serve me or how much I should tip and not challenge friends to eat packets of sugar, I started to serve. And that obviously skewed my perspective a little. Personally, I find myself hyper critical of any server I get; few live up to my standards. It ticks my mom off big time, let me tell you. But I can't help it. I'm a good server (if you'll forgive my bragging), and my bosses hold me to a really high standard. Most servers aren't up to our standards. So I find several things they did that bugged me or that I would do differently, but I still (almost) always tip well.
But, please, tell me about your experiences going out to eat. What was the best server you ever had like? The worst? Why?
For me, the best server I've had was, hands down, a young lady at this big chain restaurant. I was pretty tired and cranky (my friends and I were up at the crack of dawn for the victory parade and rally for our team winning the championship a few years ago), so she must have been good to impress me. Lol. She was real nice, got everything promptly, but what impressed me most was her knowledge of the menu. Every order she was asking "now that comes with this, do you want that sauce?" or something similar. I thought I knew my menu, but this girl was good.
The worst was at this café my friend loves on vacation. We were done and after a long ass road trip, we just wanted to go hit the bar for a quick drink and get to the hotel. We ask for boxes. The waitress, who had like 3 tables total, looked at us with this kind of dirty, angry look and said (somewhat peevishly) "you'll just have to give me a minute." I'll never forget that tone, that tone of "ohmygod, how dare you ask me something, I can't get it right now, good god, too much to do!" My one friend, who is also a waitress, and I just looked at each other like "did she really? Oh hell no!" I get it, sometimes tables have really bad timing with their requests (another table was just being sat or something I think). Sometimes a server just has too many things to be done at any given moment. We've all been there. But you do not snap at the customer. Geez. A simple "sure, I'll get those for you a moment" or "I'll be back shortly" would have sufficed. I don't appreciate that kind of attitude from anyone, let alone someone in customer service (and especially since servers usually are so pleasant and polite). By far the absolute worst server ever.
Now your turn.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Hey, dear readers (um if there are any of you haha). I've got more free time than I've had since ... well I don't even know what free time is so who knows when I had any of it. I would like this blog to grow a bit. Please, please, please, help me out. Comment, tell your friends who spent a shitty summer waiting tables in college, email me with suggestions for topics you'd like to hear about or with any question you might have. I would love to hear from you and to tell you what you want to know.
Please and thank you.
- M.
Please and thank you.
- M.
Holy cow I can be nice! Who knew?
Mostly, this blog is me bitching. I'm sure that gets old for the rest of you, so today, I shall do something different. Today, I write something nice and say something positive.
Today's topic is when customers don't like their meal.
Any server can tell you this is a treacherous situation to navigate your way through. You're pulled in possibly conflicting directions. On the one hand, you need to make the customer happy. You want them happy to get a good tip, but also it's just good business. Make the customer happy and they'll back again to spend more money for you. This is part of your job as a server. Then on the other hand, you're bound by the establishment. Perhaps there are certain rules and regulations you must follow if you want to keep your job (which I'm guessing you do), or perhaps what the customer wants is not possible for some reason. You might find yourself stuck in the middle between the two parties trying to compromise. Hopefully they can work it out, but sometimes one party (in my experience, usually the customer) is unwilling to bend or something or walks out. If the customer decides to be a jerk, become fussy or demanding, or make a scene, then perhaps you also end up getting pulled in yet another direction, that of your other tables. They might be getting a little shafted; as you attempt to put out this fire, you might not be as attentive to them as you'd like. Pretty much, there's no way out that ends well for you.
Allow me to illustrate what hell a customer not liking their meal can be with an awful experience I once had. The couple in question were semi-regulars. They hadn't been in for a while, but they loved me (I'm talking they'd leave me a $20 tip on a $50-some check. More than one time) and so things were going swimmingly at first as we chatted a bit and caught up and I remembered their wine and other little details (hey I'd waited on them a bunch and when somebody leaves you a tip that's over 30%, you remember what they want. Perhaps one day I'll tell the story of the over 100% tip I got that once. I still have dreams of that one coming back in so I can wait on him again lol). Then their dinners were served. It all went to hell.
He didn't like his steak. He refused my offers to get him something else, or even to offer an explanation as to why it was so awful (beyond a vague "it tastes frozen" which was total BS as a) it was a special and brand new so it hadn't been frozen and b) freezing doesn't really affect the taste – unless it's freezer burned I guess); what he didn't refuse to do was stop eating it. Yep, even though he bitched and bitched at me how horrible and "disappointing" it was, he ate every last bite. I suppose she's not one to be shown up, because then she hopped on that train too. She complained about the too many flavors in her dish, even though she read all the ingredients on the menu and I know she's had that dish before. They just get going on and on about awful and disappointing it was and bitching at me. Finally, I broke down and sent out the owner/chef. Normally, this fixes the problem. Owner/chef is a nice guy and he knows good business. He'll listen to complaints and then offer up a solution to keep everybody happy. But these assholes just kept steamrolling on and on, being extremely rude and insulting. Then when owner/chef had the nerve to not take five minutes of being insulted up and down and having all kinds of rude things said about his establishment without the patience of a martyr, they got even more pissed. (Not that he was mean back to them exactly, just as any other person would in that situation, you have to stick up for yourself, and if all that's coming your way is rude and insulting, you can't exactly be Mr. Nice Guy about it)
Anyway, they eventually finally shut the hell up and left, but not without some parting shots to me. They didn't even leave me 10% (and like I said, that's a third of what they would leave me in the past). Basically, it was awful. Which is the point of this diversion, that it can get really ugly when someone's not over the moon about the food on their plate.
So naturally, last week when a customer said his fillet was bad, I had to fight to hold back a mini-panic attack. My breathing got shallow, my heart rate and blood pressure sky rocketed, and I was worried I was in some big trouble. So, like any server would, I asked what was the problem so that I could set about correcting it. He wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with it, just that it was not good, and didn't want to try something else. Guessing it was probably the sauce, I offered to have the chefs clean the fillet up and warm it back up on the grill a minute so that he could try just the plain fillet. He was reluctant (understandably, I suppose, because of all the horror stories you can hear about what happens to food that's sent back), but he agreed. It was a little better, but he still didn't eat much of it.
So when the time comes, I drop off his check with profuse apologies and many thanks for his kindness (I've had some bad experiences, so I did very greatly appreciate his being kind about everything). He's very kind about it, and he tells me he thinks it was the sauce. He leaves, and I pick up the book. As it turns out, my PTSD flashbacks were for nothing. He tipped a little less than 20%. Maybe not a fantastic tip but pretty freaking good considering.
And so that is why I am writing today. To thank this man and the others like him for being kind. I do sincerely appreciate when my customers are nice, or even understanding. This is absolutely ridiculous, of course, because considering that I am doing them a service and show them nothing but kindness, respect, and willingness to get them what they want (well within reason. I mean if a customer wanted me to make out with him, I wouldn't do thatunless he was really hot or that guy with the 100%+ tip lol). The truth is there's absolutely no reason at all to treat your server like dirt. They are a human being, and until such times as they prove unworthy of it based on how they treat you, they most certainly deserve to be treated with common courtesy and basic human decency at the least. But sadly, this is often not the case. And so, when I get a customer who is understanding and not being a huge jerk, I'm very grateful. And if I get a person at one of my tables like this man who acts like a rational, mature human being and can be kind about a bad meal, I am overjoyed. (No, that's not sarcasm.)
Look, I'm not advocating that if you get a meal you don't like that you eat every bit with a smile and pretend to love it for your server's sake. I'm merely asking that you be rational, mature, and not rude. You are certainly well within your rights as a paying customer to send a dish back if it is not what you ordered or obviously prepared wrong. I understand people are hesitant because of horror stories of what happens when you send your food back, and obviously I cannot vouch for all restaurants, but any server or business with two working brain cells should accept that if a mistake is made by the restaurant they should fix it. You're paying after all, and also like I said, it's good business. They want you to come back and spend more money, so there might be grumbling but if cooking your steak to the proper doneness or cooking an incorrectly prepared dish over again is what it takes it will be done without much fuss (or spitting on your food). Just, you know, be polite and respectful about it. (And if you have your doubts about the establishment, perhaps you'd be better off just requesting that meal be taken off your bill if you didn't eat most or all of it.) If it's just that you don't like what you ordered (and that can happen, sometimes you order something to try it and discover it's not to your liking), please just realize that because it isn't something you like the taste of doesn't give you right to cause a scene and insult the server, the chef, and the establishment.
Go ahead and present your side, and ask for what you want. Just please remember that you are a grown adult, not a spoiled three year old. You should be polite (or at least not rude and insulting) and not disrespectful (what's that saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar) and realize that perhaps what you want isn't going to be a possibility. If it's not, surely you can work something out with the manager and reach a compromise. What I mean is don't expect that if you eat your entire meal and then afterwards complain that it was awful that you'll get your entire table's check comped. Don't expect that if you insult or curse out anybody who will listen that you'll get very far. A more reasonable thing to do is speak up that you don't like it right away, and then perhaps accept the offer of another meal, free desert, or having that entrée taken off your bill. And that's all I'm saying. Please remember that you are not a medieval king and your server/the restaurant are not your subjects or servants. You can't have absolute and complete authority over them. You can't do unreasonable things or make ridiculous requests and expect them to happen. And after all, isn't that how it is in all other areas of your life too? (Unless the Rolling Stones lied to us and you can always get what you want.)
Anyway, I've rambled on way too long. Once again, to those of you who are mature adults and treat your servers with the kindness and respect they show you (well assuming they are a halfway decent server and treat you kindly and respectfully that is), thank you very much. You just might have made some poor server's day when you are understanding and reasonable. And no matter what, even if everything was wonderful and there weren't any problems, your kindness will be greatly appreciated. I know that gentleman with the bad fillet nearly had me crying tears of relief (lol ok I exaggerate a little), but even if I have a table that just enjoys everything the whole time and is pleasant, I'm still a very happy waitress.
Today's topic is when customers don't like their meal.
Any server can tell you this is a treacherous situation to navigate your way through. You're pulled in possibly conflicting directions. On the one hand, you need to make the customer happy. You want them happy to get a good tip, but also it's just good business. Make the customer happy and they'll back again to spend more money for you. This is part of your job as a server. Then on the other hand, you're bound by the establishment. Perhaps there are certain rules and regulations you must follow if you want to keep your job (which I'm guessing you do), or perhaps what the customer wants is not possible for some reason. You might find yourself stuck in the middle between the two parties trying to compromise. Hopefully they can work it out, but sometimes one party (in my experience, usually the customer) is unwilling to bend or something or walks out. If the customer decides to be a jerk, become fussy or demanding, or make a scene, then perhaps you also end up getting pulled in yet another direction, that of your other tables. They might be getting a little shafted; as you attempt to put out this fire, you might not be as attentive to them as you'd like. Pretty much, there's no way out that ends well for you.
Allow me to illustrate what hell a customer not liking their meal can be with an awful experience I once had. The couple in question were semi-regulars. They hadn't been in for a while, but they loved me (I'm talking they'd leave me a $20 tip on a $50-some check. More than one time) and so things were going swimmingly at first as we chatted a bit and caught up and I remembered their wine and other little details (hey I'd waited on them a bunch and when somebody leaves you a tip that's over 30%, you remember what they want. Perhaps one day I'll tell the story of the over 100% tip I got that once. I still have dreams of that one coming back in so I can wait on him again lol). Then their dinners were served. It all went to hell.
He didn't like his steak. He refused my offers to get him something else, or even to offer an explanation as to why it was so awful (beyond a vague "it tastes frozen" which was total BS as a) it was a special and brand new so it hadn't been frozen and b) freezing doesn't really affect the taste – unless it's freezer burned I guess); what he didn't refuse to do was stop eating it. Yep, even though he bitched and bitched at me how horrible and "disappointing" it was, he ate every last bite. I suppose she's not one to be shown up, because then she hopped on that train too. She complained about the too many flavors in her dish, even though she read all the ingredients on the menu and I know she's had that dish before. They just get going on and on about awful and disappointing it was and bitching at me. Finally, I broke down and sent out the owner/chef. Normally, this fixes the problem. Owner/chef is a nice guy and he knows good business. He'll listen to complaints and then offer up a solution to keep everybody happy. But these assholes just kept steamrolling on and on, being extremely rude and insulting. Then when owner/chef had the nerve to not take five minutes of being insulted up and down and having all kinds of rude things said about his establishment without the patience of a martyr, they got even more pissed. (Not that he was mean back to them exactly, just as any other person would in that situation, you have to stick up for yourself, and if all that's coming your way is rude and insulting, you can't exactly be Mr. Nice Guy about it)
Anyway, they eventually finally shut the hell up and left, but not without some parting shots to me. They didn't even leave me 10% (and like I said, that's a third of what they would leave me in the past). Basically, it was awful. Which is the point of this diversion, that it can get really ugly when someone's not over the moon about the food on their plate.
So naturally, last week when a customer said his fillet was bad, I had to fight to hold back a mini-panic attack. My breathing got shallow, my heart rate and blood pressure sky rocketed, and I was worried I was in some big trouble. So, like any server would, I asked what was the problem so that I could set about correcting it. He wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with it, just that it was not good, and didn't want to try something else. Guessing it was probably the sauce, I offered to have the chefs clean the fillet up and warm it back up on the grill a minute so that he could try just the plain fillet. He was reluctant (understandably, I suppose, because of all the horror stories you can hear about what happens to food that's sent back), but he agreed. It was a little better, but he still didn't eat much of it.
So when the time comes, I drop off his check with profuse apologies and many thanks for his kindness (I've had some bad experiences, so I did very greatly appreciate his being kind about everything). He's very kind about it, and he tells me he thinks it was the sauce. He leaves, and I pick up the book. As it turns out, my PTSD flashbacks were for nothing. He tipped a little less than 20%. Maybe not a fantastic tip but pretty freaking good considering.
And so that is why I am writing today. To thank this man and the others like him for being kind. I do sincerely appreciate when my customers are nice, or even understanding. This is absolutely ridiculous, of course, because considering that I am doing them a service and show them nothing but kindness, respect, and willingness to get them what they want (well within reason. I mean if a customer wanted me to make out with him, I wouldn't do that
Look, I'm not advocating that if you get a meal you don't like that you eat every bit with a smile and pretend to love it for your server's sake. I'm merely asking that you be rational, mature, and not rude. You are certainly well within your rights as a paying customer to send a dish back if it is not what you ordered or obviously prepared wrong. I understand people are hesitant because of horror stories of what happens when you send your food back, and obviously I cannot vouch for all restaurants, but any server or business with two working brain cells should accept that if a mistake is made by the restaurant they should fix it. You're paying after all, and also like I said, it's good business. They want you to come back and spend more money, so there might be grumbling but if cooking your steak to the proper doneness or cooking an incorrectly prepared dish over again is what it takes it will be done without much fuss (or spitting on your food). Just, you know, be polite and respectful about it. (And if you have your doubts about the establishment, perhaps you'd be better off just requesting that meal be taken off your bill if you didn't eat most or all of it.) If it's just that you don't like what you ordered (and that can happen, sometimes you order something to try it and discover it's not to your liking), please just realize that because it isn't something you like the taste of doesn't give you right to cause a scene and insult the server, the chef, and the establishment.
Go ahead and present your side, and ask for what you want. Just please remember that you are a grown adult, not a spoiled three year old. You should be polite (or at least not rude and insulting) and not disrespectful (what's that saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar) and realize that perhaps what you want isn't going to be a possibility. If it's not, surely you can work something out with the manager and reach a compromise. What I mean is don't expect that if you eat your entire meal and then afterwards complain that it was awful that you'll get your entire table's check comped. Don't expect that if you insult or curse out anybody who will listen that you'll get very far. A more reasonable thing to do is speak up that you don't like it right away, and then perhaps accept the offer of another meal, free desert, or having that entrée taken off your bill. And that's all I'm saying. Please remember that you are not a medieval king and your server/the restaurant are not your subjects or servants. You can't have absolute and complete authority over them. You can't do unreasonable things or make ridiculous requests and expect them to happen. And after all, isn't that how it is in all other areas of your life too? (Unless the Rolling Stones lied to us and you can always get what you want.)
Anyway, I've rambled on way too long. Once again, to those of you who are mature adults and treat your servers with the kindness and respect they show you (well assuming they are a halfway decent server and treat you kindly and respectfully that is), thank you very much. You just might have made some poor server's day when you are understanding and reasonable. And no matter what, even if everything was wonderful and there weren't any problems, your kindness will be greatly appreciated. I know that gentleman with the bad fillet nearly had me crying tears of relief (lol ok I exaggerate a little), but even if I have a table that just enjoys everything the whole time and is pleasant, I'm still a very happy waitress.
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