After reading this article , here is my take. It's super annoying that you need to go to a new page for each one, so I'll just copy and paste here and then put my thoughts.
1. Yell, whistle, or wave money and I'm going to make you wait. Make eye contact and smile, and I'll come over as soon as I can. Know what you want and have your money ready. Don't create a traffic jam.
Agreed. If you can't be bothered to address me or get my attention in a polite manner, or at least one that isn't completely lacking in any respect or basic human dignity, I sure won't be bothered to get to your table any time soon. Yelling is just downright rude and disrespectful. I've mentioned whistling several times, and I imagine I will continue to do so because it pisses me off so much (your server/bartender is not a dog, goddamnit). I've never seen someone wave money but I imagine my eyes would get very strained from trying not to roll them a lot. How much of a douche and asshole can you be? And also agreed about knowing what you want. Nothing is more annoying than people who don't know what they want but won't ask for a few minutes. Look, unless it's time to close, nobody cares if you need more time. I fucking hate standing at my table for a few minutes while some asshole tries to decide. I have other stuff to do, just let me go while you try to choose. I also hate standing by the table waiting. It makes me feel like an asshole, like I'm up your ass or pressuring you or hovering … and nobody wants that. Seriously. Just say "can I have another minute please?"
2. Start a tab. If I swipe your card five times this evening, that’s five times as much paperwork I have to do at 4 a.m.
Agreed. Ok so there's really not any paperwork for me personally to do, but having to swipe a card so many times just is annoying. And why on earth would you want so many separate charges for the same place, the same night on your bill? Do all of us a favor, especially yourself, and put it all on one tab.
3. You want a drink made "strong?" Then order a double—for double the price.
There is nothing more to say about this. Your bartender can't give you something and not charge for it. You really shouldn't ask. If you need it that bad, order the double or just drink more. Although doubles aren't double the price.
(In the interest of full disclosure, there is one fine southern gentleman who's a very frequently regular. He's nice to us (he's kind of a friend actually), and he tips us fabulously (he once gave me a $5 tip on a $6 breakfast. He didn't have money to give me the tip that day, but like a week later when I saw him again he made up for it). For him, we make an exception provided the boss isn't around. So perhaps if you're a great tipper, always tip well, and get to be kinda friends with your bartender you just might be able to get it. Just be sure to ask nicely and in a way to make sure the bartender knows you're not pressuring her and that you won't be mad if s/he can't.)
4. Liquor sales in bars and restaurants were down 2.2 percent last year. Even beer sales are slow. But people scrimp on food first, drinks second.
Thankfully, we've been able to keep our sales up in this recession. Sure this summer is terrible so far, completely dead and awful and no money to be made. But I suppose when the food is incredible, the portions big (big enough for two meals even), the prices good for how much you get, and the service generally very good, people will make it a point to visit you when they go out. Hell, since I started working there, the county I work in started a 10% drink tax. I can't say that I noticed any decline in sales. People want to drink, so they will anyway I guess.
5. A lot of bars have comp tabs, which allows me to give away drinks. It's smart business and helps build a base of regulars.
If this is the case, why the hell is the only perk I've gotten from bars a cd courtesy of the dj? Please. I spent more than my share of time at a local watering hole, and never did I see someone get a free drink. I demand to see proof of this! *g*
6. Bars that don't have regulars (in hotels, airports) have started using wireless gadgets that measure how much is poured and automatically ring up each shot. They're meant to prevent overpouring and to cut losses, but I don't like them—neither do customers.
Is that like some kind of machine to automatically pour for you? I can get behind that then, less work for me. Hehe.
7. If your tipping guideline is still "a buck a drink," listen closely: That doesn't fly if you order a $12 cocktail. Tip at least 15 percent.
A buck a drink only works if you're drinking beer. Beer that is $6 or less a pop.
8. At some bars, the sliced fruit garnishes sit out until they’re gone, sometimes for days. Munch accordingly.
I hate to say, this is probably true. Any decent, conscientious bartender will pitch them when they've gone bad, so you're not going to get something old and rotting or moldy … but I wouldn't count on it being freshly cut.
9. The smoothest guys compliment a woman, then walk away—it's very nonthreatening.
I have to say, that does sound infinitely better than the creeps who always try to talk to me. But I have no experience being smooth nor a guy, so what do I know?
10. I have the police on speed dial, and I never hesitate to call.
Any sane bartender would agree with this. People get stupid, and often violent, when they're wasted. And no establishment is going to risk any potential lawsuits or damages.
11. Don't order a round of drinks after last call. Last call applies to everyone—even you.
The whole point of last call? For you to get your last drink so we can start doing our clean up and get the hell home. I don't give a shit who you are (or who you think you are), nor how much you want another. Once last call is done, it's done. Just don't even do it.
12. Some of us get a cut from the cab company when we call a taxi for a tipsy patron. Not that I've ever done that, of course.
This is not my experience. We close early, we aren't really a bar so there's nobody sitting there for hours getting drunk, and I'm not even sure there are any cab companies anywhere near me.
13. Last week, a couple had a little too much and got into a dumb argument, then asked me to choose the "winner" of the fight. There isn't a tip big enough to get me involved in that situation!
A million times yes. First of all, you shouldn't be arguing in a bar, in public, anyway. Save the personal shit like for a more appropriate time when you're alone together. Second of all, like I said before I don't know you or your situation, so why do you care what I think? Just don't do ask for an opinion.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I just want to say, sometimes it really effing sucks to be a waitress.
My coworker is getting her wisdom teeth pulled out. She has to work the following night. She told them they were coming out Friday (as in she is having it done this Friday, she told them about it a long time in advance), and they gave her shit about wanting the rest of the weekend off. Why? Because two other girls already asked it off. Um ... so what? Do with one less girl, have someone work a double, give someone an extra shift. You can find a way to make it work to give the poor little girl the weekend off after having her wisdom teeth removed. This is our slow time of year; I promise you we wouldn't miss her if she weren't there. I feel so bad for her.
Then one of our bussers wanted to call off last weekend. It was pretty dead, so really no big deal. She told them a week in advance, and she was completely honest and up front about why she wanted the night off, no just not showing up or lying and claiming to be sick. She spent the week trying to find a replacement (not her fault she couldn't. Our pool of bussers is really limited and the other one who works the most is not working at the moment). For a 15 year old at her very first job, I think she was very mature and responsible about the whole thing, and she certainly did what she could to follow their instructions (where I work, you are not allowed to call off. If you can't be there, it is up to you to find your replacement; they won't do it). We were dead and she would have been doing very little, taking money out of their pockets and ours (it sucks tipping out a busser when you don't make anything). Yet I think she's about to get fired for it. Never mind Stoner Chef-in-training who has completely missed his shift, or shown up hours late (check the name if you want to know why), more times than I can count still has his job. Nor that the new girl who has not shown up, with no word, a few times in her month at work and hasn't gotten fired (personally I think her weird, halitosised ass should be fired on principal for standing literally inches away from you. Like Jesus Christ, woman, haven't you ever heard of personal space?). And then there's B. (as in short for bitch), who terrorizes every employee there, runs roughshod all over us as much as she can, bullies everybody, is verbally abusive to us, throws petty hissy fits at every chance, acts like she's the boss (when she's not. She's not even any kind of manager or given any kind of semi-managerial perks) and is the only one who knows how to or ever does anything the correct way and talks shit about it constantly (totally forgetting that when the bosses aren't around she's the worst out of any of us, and is just generally so unpleasant and awful that our customers make fun of her and are relieved to see she isn't in. Did I mention that she is lazier than hell (in the 3 years I've been there, she has only vacuumed once – we're supposed to take turns doing the end of the shift chores. It doesn't happen with her) and that she recently asked a customer to try something to see if it was still good? I don't get why poor sweet Busgirl, who is a very good employee and hustles her little butt off, is about to be out of job when those other wastes of space and awful excuses for employees (and in B.'s case human beings) have job security.
Every other job can find a replacement or deal without a worker for the day. Why can't serving? Honestly, the way things are at work at the moment I seriously need a new job. We're getting close to the breaking point here.
My coworker is getting her wisdom teeth pulled out. She has to work the following night. She told them they were coming out Friday (as in she is having it done this Friday, she told them about it a long time in advance), and they gave her shit about wanting the rest of the weekend off. Why? Because two other girls already asked it off. Um ... so what? Do with one less girl, have someone work a double, give someone an extra shift. You can find a way to make it work to give the poor little girl the weekend off after having her wisdom teeth removed. This is our slow time of year; I promise you we wouldn't miss her if she weren't there. I feel so bad for her.
Then one of our bussers wanted to call off last weekend. It was pretty dead, so really no big deal. She told them a week in advance, and she was completely honest and up front about why she wanted the night off, no just not showing up or lying and claiming to be sick. She spent the week trying to find a replacement (not her fault she couldn't. Our pool of bussers is really limited and the other one who works the most is not working at the moment). For a 15 year old at her very first job, I think she was very mature and responsible about the whole thing, and she certainly did what she could to follow their instructions (where I work, you are not allowed to call off. If you can't be there, it is up to you to find your replacement; they won't do it). We were dead and she would have been doing very little, taking money out of their pockets and ours (it sucks tipping out a busser when you don't make anything). Yet I think she's about to get fired for it. Never mind Stoner Chef-in-training who has completely missed his shift, or shown up hours late (check the name if you want to know why), more times than I can count still has his job. Nor that the new girl who has not shown up, with no word, a few times in her month at work and hasn't gotten fired (personally I think her weird, halitosised ass should be fired on principal for standing literally inches away from you. Like Jesus Christ, woman, haven't you ever heard of personal space?). And then there's B. (as in short for bitch), who terrorizes every employee there, runs roughshod all over us as much as she can, bullies everybody, is verbally abusive to us, throws petty hissy fits at every chance, acts like she's the boss (when she's not. She's not even any kind of manager or given any kind of semi-managerial perks) and is the only one who knows how to or ever does anything the correct way and talks shit about it constantly (totally forgetting that when the bosses aren't around she's the worst out of any of us, and is just generally so unpleasant and awful that our customers make fun of her and are relieved to see she isn't in. Did I mention that she is lazier than hell (in the 3 years I've been there, she has only vacuumed once – we're supposed to take turns doing the end of the shift chores. It doesn't happen with her) and that she recently asked a customer to try something to see if it was still good? I don't get why poor sweet Busgirl, who is a very good employee and hustles her little butt off, is about to be out of job when those other wastes of space and awful excuses for employees (and in B.'s case human beings) have job security.
Every other job can find a replacement or deal without a worker for the day. Why can't serving? Honestly, the way things are at work at the moment I seriously need a new job. We're getting close to the breaking point here.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Honestly, I'm pretty burned out on work at the moment. It's getting too stressful, on top of my already too stressful family life and school. I'm really not sure what to write about now.
So I want to know what you want to hear about (if anybody is even reading this). Comment or email me any questions you have or with a topic you want to hear about.
So I want to know what you want to hear about (if anybody is even reading this). Comment or email me any questions you have or with a topic you want to hear about.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Thing That Tick Me Off To An Irrational Degree
Continuing in the vein of my last post, I guess I shall go on.
Sometimes there are small behaviors that my customers do that piss me off to an unreasonable degree. These are just me though. Not every server will be as pissed off about it as me.
- Stealing my pens. This is actually up there on my list of shit that pisses me off, only slightly behind bad tips and rudeness. I don't care if I purposely buy those packs of 10 pens for $1 because they get stolen so frequently, it's the principal of the thing. It belongs to me, not you. You have no freaking right to take it, so don't. End of discussion. Just leave my damn pen on the table with the check you signed.
- Ignoring the "PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATED" sign. Hey dumbass, it's there for a reason.
- Idiots who sit at a dirty table. What, do you not see by the crumbs from the last person who sat there that we haven't wiped this table yet? Where I work, we have the tables set. So if the table isn't set, obviously it's not ready. Again, there's a reason we have that sign saying wait to be seated.
- People who are extremely picky about their table. A table is a table. I'll give you a pass if you don't want to sit too close to a door and get the cold air coming in (if it's winter). I don't care if you prefer a table or a booth and will gladly get you seated at your first choice if I can. But assholes who change tables 3 or 4 times (no that's not an exaggeration), or who pitch a fit if they can't sit downstairs (it's the same menu! You actually have more choices upstairs though) or at the exact table they want and act like whiney little babies about it? No. Just no. I understand that maybe you prefer to eat by the window so you can look out it and watch people going by the street or that you like a particular table. What I can't understand is why you need to get shitty with me and pitch a fit or refuse to sit somewhere else if I tell you we have reservations or that we don't want to sit a single person at the last available 4-top. If you can't get that table, oh well big deal. The food is still the same no matter where you sit. And service probably won't change a whole lot either. So just be a mature adult and not flip out over a minor thing, please.
- Name dropping. Look, I don't care if your kids went to school with the owner's kids, you were on track team with some dude who cooked here a few months ago, or you're related to that crazy waitress that got fired last month. It isn't going to get you any kind of special treatment. It won't get you free drinks, a discount, or me to break the rules of the coupon books. Now, if you want me to tell that person you're here and want to say hi, well ok then I will help you out gladly.
- Acting like being a regular should get you something special. My last host shift I asked this man if he had reservations. His response? "I'm a regular here, I don't need them." My mental response to that? A) Bitch, please. I've been waiting on you for three years – and watching the hissy fits you and your wife can throw may I add? – so I think I know how often you come in. B) I don't care if you do come in once a month or so, if I don't have any open tables you better believe your ass is waiting so that I can seat the people who have reservations at the time they want to eat. I don't give a damn if you are a regular, on a night as busy as this if you don't have reservations you might screwed. C) If you're such a regular then you should know that weekend nights get pretty busy sometimes, and that with our special event going on tonight (oh wait, you're not enough of a regular to know anything about that now are you?) we have much less seating than normal and so yeah you kinda do need reservations tonight. Don't get me wrong. I love waiting on 90% of my regulars. For most of them, it's because I've gotten to know them over the years and we're on friendly terms. I like talking to them, and ok yes they tip me well. For the others, it's because I know they're rude, fussy, and poor tippers so I can put in the least amount of effort to keep them as happy as they'll be. And yes, it can get you some special treatment (like we'll take care of you before that other table that walked in at the same time, or we'll spend more time with you because we like you and know you tip), but you can't expect miracles just because you grace us with your presence from time to time. You're not really entitled to anything (like free shit or a table when we have none) just because you occasionally spend money here.
- People who make their own lemonade. Seriously? To be honest, people who drink water don't bug me. Sometimes you're just really thirsty, and nothing takes care of that like water. And some people believe that anything else interferes with the flavor of your food. Now if an entire group of like 10 people is drinking all water yeah ok then I get a little ticked. But I don't mind people who drink water. But you assholes who ask for lemon (and then ask for extra lemon) and add sugar? Yeah, that's not cool. Don't do it.
- People who order a to go but then eat it when they get there. You think, "hey, the extra tip must be nice so that can't be bad." Oh yes it can. Last week I had this table of ladies who told not only myself but the chef they wanted a to go order. Then they come in and sit down (because the one bitchy waitress we have wasn't there I think). Well, their food was already boxed and wrapped up. So we had to put it on plates and carry everything out at once (my boss would have been having a fit at soups and entrees going out at the same time haha). Way to make us waste all those containers, you dumb bitches. That wasted money and the environment are so grateful to your inconsiderate bitchiness. To be honest, I guess I might not have minded it so much except this group of ladies are just so freaking annoying and a pain in the ass (You know that stereotype of women going out to eat? All the salads and the lighter options and waters with lemons? Yep, them) and they tip horribly.
Sometimes there are small behaviors that my customers do that piss me off to an unreasonable degree. These are just me though. Not every server will be as pissed off about it as me.
- Stealing my pens. This is actually up there on my list of shit that pisses me off, only slightly behind bad tips and rudeness. I don't care if I purposely buy those packs of 10 pens for $1 because they get stolen so frequently, it's the principal of the thing. It belongs to me, not you. You have no freaking right to take it, so don't. End of discussion. Just leave my damn pen on the table with the check you signed.
- Ignoring the "PLEASE WAIT TO BE SEATED" sign. Hey dumbass, it's there for a reason.
- Idiots who sit at a dirty table. What, do you not see by the crumbs from the last person who sat there that we haven't wiped this table yet? Where I work, we have the tables set. So if the table isn't set, obviously it's not ready. Again, there's a reason we have that sign saying wait to be seated.
- People who are extremely picky about their table. A table is a table. I'll give you a pass if you don't want to sit too close to a door and get the cold air coming in (if it's winter). I don't care if you prefer a table or a booth and will gladly get you seated at your first choice if I can. But assholes who change tables 3 or 4 times (no that's not an exaggeration), or who pitch a fit if they can't sit downstairs (it's the same menu! You actually have more choices upstairs though) or at the exact table they want and act like whiney little babies about it? No. Just no. I understand that maybe you prefer to eat by the window so you can look out it and watch people going by the street or that you like a particular table. What I can't understand is why you need to get shitty with me and pitch a fit or refuse to sit somewhere else if I tell you we have reservations or that we don't want to sit a single person at the last available 4-top. If you can't get that table, oh well big deal. The food is still the same no matter where you sit. And service probably won't change a whole lot either. So just be a mature adult and not flip out over a minor thing, please.
- Name dropping. Look, I don't care if your kids went to school with the owner's kids, you were on track team with some dude who cooked here a few months ago, or you're related to that crazy waitress that got fired last month. It isn't going to get you any kind of special treatment. It won't get you free drinks, a discount, or me to break the rules of the coupon books. Now, if you want me to tell that person you're here and want to say hi, well ok then I will help you out gladly.
- Acting like being a regular should get you something special. My last host shift I asked this man if he had reservations. His response? "I'm a regular here, I don't need them." My mental response to that? A) Bitch, please. I've been waiting on you for three years – and watching the hissy fits you and your wife can throw may I add? – so I think I know how often you come in. B) I don't care if you do come in once a month or so, if I don't have any open tables you better believe your ass is waiting so that I can seat the people who have reservations at the time they want to eat. I don't give a damn if you are a regular, on a night as busy as this if you don't have reservations you might screwed. C) If you're such a regular then you should know that weekend nights get pretty busy sometimes, and that with our special event going on tonight (oh wait, you're not enough of a regular to know anything about that now are you?) we have much less seating than normal and so yeah you kinda do need reservations tonight. Don't get me wrong. I love waiting on 90% of my regulars. For most of them, it's because I've gotten to know them over the years and we're on friendly terms. I like talking to them, and ok yes they tip me well. For the others, it's because I know they're rude, fussy, and poor tippers so I can put in the least amount of effort to keep them as happy as they'll be. And yes, it can get you some special treatment (like we'll take care of you before that other table that walked in at the same time, or we'll spend more time with you because we like you and know you tip), but you can't expect miracles just because you grace us with your presence from time to time. You're not really entitled to anything (like free shit or a table when we have none) just because you occasionally spend money here.
- People who make their own lemonade. Seriously? To be honest, people who drink water don't bug me. Sometimes you're just really thirsty, and nothing takes care of that like water. And some people believe that anything else interferes with the flavor of your food. Now if an entire group of like 10 people is drinking all water yeah ok then I get a little ticked. But I don't mind people who drink water. But you assholes who ask for lemon (and then ask for extra lemon) and add sugar? Yeah, that's not cool. Don't do it.
- People who order a to go but then eat it when they get there. You think, "hey, the extra tip must be nice so that can't be bad." Oh yes it can. Last week I had this table of ladies who told not only myself but the chef they wanted a to go order. Then they come in and sit down (because the one bitchy waitress we have wasn't there I think). Well, their food was already boxed and wrapped up. So we had to put it on plates and carry everything out at once (my boss would have been having a fit at soups and entrees going out at the same time haha). Way to make us waste all those containers, you dumb bitches. That wasted money and the environment are so grateful to your inconsiderate bitchiness. To be honest, I guess I might not have minded it so much except this group of ladies are just so freaking annoying and a pain in the ass (You know that stereotype of women going out to eat? All the salads and the lighter options and waters with lemons? Yep, them) and they tip horribly.
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