I saw in the news that a local restaurant has banned kids under 6.
Some people are pretty pissed, as you can imagine. Personally, I am all for this.
I like kids as much as the next person. But here's the thing; they're kids. They're still learning. They don't always know appropriate ways to act or deal with shit just yet. (Ok to be fair, I've seen my share of adults who don't either.)
Well guess what parents who get offended when somebody asks you to shut your brat up, nobody but you wants to hear your kid screeching their cute little head off for an hour or two. Nobody but you thinks it's cute when they throw their food on the ground. (Do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to clean up cut up spaghetti off carpet? Be thankful) I'm not sure what the deal is. Plenty of parents let their kids run amuck all the time anyway (you know, cuz the kid is such a special little snowflake who is so awesome and special and can do no wrong), so the kid never learns that spitting half chewed up food onto the floor is quite disgusting, gross, and should never, ever be done. Some parents figure "eh, ain't my house, I don't have to clean up" and let it go.
Well from somebody who unfortunately had to listen to a little kid yell and scream for an hour today, and get down on hands and knees to sweep up the food thrown onto the floor, screw you. These are not appropriate behaviors, not at all. If your kid is unable or too young to listen to you when you tell them no (if you do, most people don't), then your kid is too young to go out to eat.
Plenty of children keep the noise to a reasonable volume and manage to eat their meals without trying to feed half of it to the carpet. But sadly for those parents who have taught their children manners, etiquette, proper public behavior, whatever you want to call it, this is the minority. Trust me, most young children should not be allowed in a restaurant. The other cusomters trying to enjoy a nice meal, or a lunch break before returning to work, don't want to high pitched squealing and crying. Whoever sits at the table after you doesn't want your food all around them. If you take your kids out, keep them in line.
(And as a side note, this goes for anywhere you take them. You don't let your kids run amuck at the store, pulling things off shelves or racks and throwing boxes, or trying to climb stuff or throwing a temper tantrum "But I want Lucky Charms!" You can't just let your children disrespect a place because it isn't their property.)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Best and worst of servers
I'm curious to hear about what eating out is like for other people. I started to waitress when I was young, so I'm not really sure. By the time I was old and mature enough to realize hey this person is working their butt off to serve me or how much I should tip and not challenge friends to eat packets of sugar, I started to serve. And that obviously skewed my perspective a little. Personally, I find myself hyper critical of any server I get; few live up to my standards. It ticks my mom off big time, let me tell you. But I can't help it. I'm a good server (if you'll forgive my bragging), and my bosses hold me to a really high standard. Most servers aren't up to our standards. So I find several things they did that bugged me or that I would do differently, but I still (almost) always tip well.
But, please, tell me about your experiences going out to eat. What was the best server you ever had like? The worst? Why?
For me, the best server I've had was, hands down, a young lady at this big chain restaurant. I was pretty tired and cranky (my friends and I were up at the crack of dawn for the victory parade and rally for our team winning the championship a few years ago), so she must have been good to impress me. Lol. She was real nice, got everything promptly, but what impressed me most was her knowledge of the menu. Every order she was asking "now that comes with this, do you want that sauce?" or something similar. I thought I knew my menu, but this girl was good.
The worst was at this café my friend loves on vacation. We were done and after a long ass road trip, we just wanted to go hit the bar for a quick drink and get to the hotel. We ask for boxes. The waitress, who had like 3 tables total, looked at us with this kind of dirty, angry look and said (somewhat peevishly) "you'll just have to give me a minute." I'll never forget that tone, that tone of "ohmygod, how dare you ask me something, I can't get it right now, good god, too much to do!" My one friend, who is also a waitress, and I just looked at each other like "did she really? Oh hell no!" I get it, sometimes tables have really bad timing with their requests (another table was just being sat or something I think). Sometimes a server just has too many things to be done at any given moment. We've all been there. But you do not snap at the customer. Geez. A simple "sure, I'll get those for you a moment" or "I'll be back shortly" would have sufficed. I don't appreciate that kind of attitude from anyone, let alone someone in customer service (and especially since servers usually are so pleasant and polite). By far the absolute worst server ever.
Now your turn.
But, please, tell me about your experiences going out to eat. What was the best server you ever had like? The worst? Why?
For me, the best server I've had was, hands down, a young lady at this big chain restaurant. I was pretty tired and cranky (my friends and I were up at the crack of dawn for the victory parade and rally for our team winning the championship a few years ago), so she must have been good to impress me. Lol. She was real nice, got everything promptly, but what impressed me most was her knowledge of the menu. Every order she was asking "now that comes with this, do you want that sauce?" or something similar. I thought I knew my menu, but this girl was good.
The worst was at this café my friend loves on vacation. We were done and after a long ass road trip, we just wanted to go hit the bar for a quick drink and get to the hotel. We ask for boxes. The waitress, who had like 3 tables total, looked at us with this kind of dirty, angry look and said (somewhat peevishly) "you'll just have to give me a minute." I'll never forget that tone, that tone of "ohmygod, how dare you ask me something, I can't get it right now, good god, too much to do!" My one friend, who is also a waitress, and I just looked at each other like "did she really? Oh hell no!" I get it, sometimes tables have really bad timing with their requests (another table was just being sat or something I think). Sometimes a server just has too many things to be done at any given moment. We've all been there. But you do not snap at the customer. Geez. A simple "sure, I'll get those for you a moment" or "I'll be back shortly" would have sufficed. I don't appreciate that kind of attitude from anyone, let alone someone in customer service (and especially since servers usually are so pleasant and polite). By far the absolute worst server ever.
Now your turn.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Hey, dear readers (um if there are any of you haha). I've got more free time than I've had since ... well I don't even know what free time is so who knows when I had any of it. I would like this blog to grow a bit. Please, please, please, help me out. Comment, tell your friends who spent a shitty summer waiting tables in college, email me with suggestions for topics you'd like to hear about or with any question you might have. I would love to hear from you and to tell you what you want to know.
Please and thank you.
- M.
Please and thank you.
- M.
Holy cow I can be nice! Who knew?
Mostly, this blog is me bitching. I'm sure that gets old for the rest of you, so today, I shall do something different. Today, I write something nice and say something positive.
Today's topic is when customers don't like their meal.
Any server can tell you this is a treacherous situation to navigate your way through. You're pulled in possibly conflicting directions. On the one hand, you need to make the customer happy. You want them happy to get a good tip, but also it's just good business. Make the customer happy and they'll back again to spend more money for you. This is part of your job as a server. Then on the other hand, you're bound by the establishment. Perhaps there are certain rules and regulations you must follow if you want to keep your job (which I'm guessing you do), or perhaps what the customer wants is not possible for some reason. You might find yourself stuck in the middle between the two parties trying to compromise. Hopefully they can work it out, but sometimes one party (in my experience, usually the customer) is unwilling to bend or something or walks out. If the customer decides to be a jerk, become fussy or demanding, or make a scene, then perhaps you also end up getting pulled in yet another direction, that of your other tables. They might be getting a little shafted; as you attempt to put out this fire, you might not be as attentive to them as you'd like. Pretty much, there's no way out that ends well for you.
Allow me to illustrate what hell a customer not liking their meal can be with an awful experience I once had. The couple in question were semi-regulars. They hadn't been in for a while, but they loved me (I'm talking they'd leave me a $20 tip on a $50-some check. More than one time) and so things were going swimmingly at first as we chatted a bit and caught up and I remembered their wine and other little details (hey I'd waited on them a bunch and when somebody leaves you a tip that's over 30%, you remember what they want. Perhaps one day I'll tell the story of the over 100% tip I got that once. I still have dreams of that one coming back in so I can wait on him again lol). Then their dinners were served. It all went to hell.
He didn't like his steak. He refused my offers to get him something else, or even to offer an explanation as to why it was so awful (beyond a vague "it tastes frozen" which was total BS as a) it was a special and brand new so it hadn't been frozen and b) freezing doesn't really affect the taste – unless it's freezer burned I guess); what he didn't refuse to do was stop eating it. Yep, even though he bitched and bitched at me how horrible and "disappointing" it was, he ate every last bite. I suppose she's not one to be shown up, because then she hopped on that train too. She complained about the too many flavors in her dish, even though she read all the ingredients on the menu and I know she's had that dish before. They just get going on and on about awful and disappointing it was and bitching at me. Finally, I broke down and sent out the owner/chef. Normally, this fixes the problem. Owner/chef is a nice guy and he knows good business. He'll listen to complaints and then offer up a solution to keep everybody happy. But these assholes just kept steamrolling on and on, being extremely rude and insulting. Then when owner/chef had the nerve to not take five minutes of being insulted up and down and having all kinds of rude things said about his establishment without the patience of a martyr, they got even more pissed. (Not that he was mean back to them exactly, just as any other person would in that situation, you have to stick up for yourself, and if all that's coming your way is rude and insulting, you can't exactly be Mr. Nice Guy about it)
Anyway, they eventually finally shut the hell up and left, but not without some parting shots to me. They didn't even leave me 10% (and like I said, that's a third of what they would leave me in the past). Basically, it was awful. Which is the point of this diversion, that it can get really ugly when someone's not over the moon about the food on their plate.
So naturally, last week when a customer said his fillet was bad, I had to fight to hold back a mini-panic attack. My breathing got shallow, my heart rate and blood pressure sky rocketed, and I was worried I was in some big trouble. So, like any server would, I asked what was the problem so that I could set about correcting it. He wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with it, just that it was not good, and didn't want to try something else. Guessing it was probably the sauce, I offered to have the chefs clean the fillet up and warm it back up on the grill a minute so that he could try just the plain fillet. He was reluctant (understandably, I suppose, because of all the horror stories you can hear about what happens to food that's sent back), but he agreed. It was a little better, but he still didn't eat much of it.
So when the time comes, I drop off his check with profuse apologies and many thanks for his kindness (I've had some bad experiences, so I did very greatly appreciate his being kind about everything). He's very kind about it, and he tells me he thinks it was the sauce. He leaves, and I pick up the book. As it turns out, my PTSD flashbacks were for nothing. He tipped a little less than 20%. Maybe not a fantastic tip but pretty freaking good considering.
And so that is why I am writing today. To thank this man and the others like him for being kind. I do sincerely appreciate when my customers are nice, or even understanding. This is absolutely ridiculous, of course, because considering that I am doing them a service and show them nothing but kindness, respect, and willingness to get them what they want (well within reason. I mean if a customer wanted me to make out with him, I wouldn't do thatunless he was really hot or that guy with the 100%+ tip lol). The truth is there's absolutely no reason at all to treat your server like dirt. They are a human being, and until such times as they prove unworthy of it based on how they treat you, they most certainly deserve to be treated with common courtesy and basic human decency at the least. But sadly, this is often not the case. And so, when I get a customer who is understanding and not being a huge jerk, I'm very grateful. And if I get a person at one of my tables like this man who acts like a rational, mature human being and can be kind about a bad meal, I am overjoyed. (No, that's not sarcasm.)
Look, I'm not advocating that if you get a meal you don't like that you eat every bit with a smile and pretend to love it for your server's sake. I'm merely asking that you be rational, mature, and not rude. You are certainly well within your rights as a paying customer to send a dish back if it is not what you ordered or obviously prepared wrong. I understand people are hesitant because of horror stories of what happens when you send your food back, and obviously I cannot vouch for all restaurants, but any server or business with two working brain cells should accept that if a mistake is made by the restaurant they should fix it. You're paying after all, and also like I said, it's good business. They want you to come back and spend more money, so there might be grumbling but if cooking your steak to the proper doneness or cooking an incorrectly prepared dish over again is what it takes it will be done without much fuss (or spitting on your food). Just, you know, be polite and respectful about it. (And if you have your doubts about the establishment, perhaps you'd be better off just requesting that meal be taken off your bill if you didn't eat most or all of it.) If it's just that you don't like what you ordered (and that can happen, sometimes you order something to try it and discover it's not to your liking), please just realize that because it isn't something you like the taste of doesn't give you right to cause a scene and insult the server, the chef, and the establishment.
Go ahead and present your side, and ask for what you want. Just please remember that you are a grown adult, not a spoiled three year old. You should be polite (or at least not rude and insulting) and not disrespectful (what's that saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar) and realize that perhaps what you want isn't going to be a possibility. If it's not, surely you can work something out with the manager and reach a compromise. What I mean is don't expect that if you eat your entire meal and then afterwards complain that it was awful that you'll get your entire table's check comped. Don't expect that if you insult or curse out anybody who will listen that you'll get very far. A more reasonable thing to do is speak up that you don't like it right away, and then perhaps accept the offer of another meal, free desert, or having that entrée taken off your bill. And that's all I'm saying. Please remember that you are not a medieval king and your server/the restaurant are not your subjects or servants. You can't have absolute and complete authority over them. You can't do unreasonable things or make ridiculous requests and expect them to happen. And after all, isn't that how it is in all other areas of your life too? (Unless the Rolling Stones lied to us and you can always get what you want.)
Anyway, I've rambled on way too long. Once again, to those of you who are mature adults and treat your servers with the kindness and respect they show you (well assuming they are a halfway decent server and treat you kindly and respectfully that is), thank you very much. You just might have made some poor server's day when you are understanding and reasonable. And no matter what, even if everything was wonderful and there weren't any problems, your kindness will be greatly appreciated. I know that gentleman with the bad fillet nearly had me crying tears of relief (lol ok I exaggerate a little), but even if I have a table that just enjoys everything the whole time and is pleasant, I'm still a very happy waitress.
Today's topic is when customers don't like their meal.
Any server can tell you this is a treacherous situation to navigate your way through. You're pulled in possibly conflicting directions. On the one hand, you need to make the customer happy. You want them happy to get a good tip, but also it's just good business. Make the customer happy and they'll back again to spend more money for you. This is part of your job as a server. Then on the other hand, you're bound by the establishment. Perhaps there are certain rules and regulations you must follow if you want to keep your job (which I'm guessing you do), or perhaps what the customer wants is not possible for some reason. You might find yourself stuck in the middle between the two parties trying to compromise. Hopefully they can work it out, but sometimes one party (in my experience, usually the customer) is unwilling to bend or something or walks out. If the customer decides to be a jerk, become fussy or demanding, or make a scene, then perhaps you also end up getting pulled in yet another direction, that of your other tables. They might be getting a little shafted; as you attempt to put out this fire, you might not be as attentive to them as you'd like. Pretty much, there's no way out that ends well for you.
Allow me to illustrate what hell a customer not liking their meal can be with an awful experience I once had. The couple in question were semi-regulars. They hadn't been in for a while, but they loved me (I'm talking they'd leave me a $20 tip on a $50-some check. More than one time) and so things were going swimmingly at first as we chatted a bit and caught up and I remembered their wine and other little details (hey I'd waited on them a bunch and when somebody leaves you a tip that's over 30%, you remember what they want. Perhaps one day I'll tell the story of the over 100% tip I got that once. I still have dreams of that one coming back in so I can wait on him again lol). Then their dinners were served. It all went to hell.
He didn't like his steak. He refused my offers to get him something else, or even to offer an explanation as to why it was so awful (beyond a vague "it tastes frozen" which was total BS as a) it was a special and brand new so it hadn't been frozen and b) freezing doesn't really affect the taste – unless it's freezer burned I guess); what he didn't refuse to do was stop eating it. Yep, even though he bitched and bitched at me how horrible and "disappointing" it was, he ate every last bite. I suppose she's not one to be shown up, because then she hopped on that train too. She complained about the too many flavors in her dish, even though she read all the ingredients on the menu and I know she's had that dish before. They just get going on and on about awful and disappointing it was and bitching at me. Finally, I broke down and sent out the owner/chef. Normally, this fixes the problem. Owner/chef is a nice guy and he knows good business. He'll listen to complaints and then offer up a solution to keep everybody happy. But these assholes just kept steamrolling on and on, being extremely rude and insulting. Then when owner/chef had the nerve to not take five minutes of being insulted up and down and having all kinds of rude things said about his establishment without the patience of a martyr, they got even more pissed. (Not that he was mean back to them exactly, just as any other person would in that situation, you have to stick up for yourself, and if all that's coming your way is rude and insulting, you can't exactly be Mr. Nice Guy about it)
Anyway, they eventually finally shut the hell up and left, but not without some parting shots to me. They didn't even leave me 10% (and like I said, that's a third of what they would leave me in the past). Basically, it was awful. Which is the point of this diversion, that it can get really ugly when someone's not over the moon about the food on their plate.
So naturally, last week when a customer said his fillet was bad, I had to fight to hold back a mini-panic attack. My breathing got shallow, my heart rate and blood pressure sky rocketed, and I was worried I was in some big trouble. So, like any server would, I asked what was the problem so that I could set about correcting it. He wasn't able to pinpoint what exactly was wrong with it, just that it was not good, and didn't want to try something else. Guessing it was probably the sauce, I offered to have the chefs clean the fillet up and warm it back up on the grill a minute so that he could try just the plain fillet. He was reluctant (understandably, I suppose, because of all the horror stories you can hear about what happens to food that's sent back), but he agreed. It was a little better, but he still didn't eat much of it.
So when the time comes, I drop off his check with profuse apologies and many thanks for his kindness (I've had some bad experiences, so I did very greatly appreciate his being kind about everything). He's very kind about it, and he tells me he thinks it was the sauce. He leaves, and I pick up the book. As it turns out, my PTSD flashbacks were for nothing. He tipped a little less than 20%. Maybe not a fantastic tip but pretty freaking good considering.
And so that is why I am writing today. To thank this man and the others like him for being kind. I do sincerely appreciate when my customers are nice, or even understanding. This is absolutely ridiculous, of course, because considering that I am doing them a service and show them nothing but kindness, respect, and willingness to get them what they want (well within reason. I mean if a customer wanted me to make out with him, I wouldn't do that
Look, I'm not advocating that if you get a meal you don't like that you eat every bit with a smile and pretend to love it for your server's sake. I'm merely asking that you be rational, mature, and not rude. You are certainly well within your rights as a paying customer to send a dish back if it is not what you ordered or obviously prepared wrong. I understand people are hesitant because of horror stories of what happens when you send your food back, and obviously I cannot vouch for all restaurants, but any server or business with two working brain cells should accept that if a mistake is made by the restaurant they should fix it. You're paying after all, and also like I said, it's good business. They want you to come back and spend more money, so there might be grumbling but if cooking your steak to the proper doneness or cooking an incorrectly prepared dish over again is what it takes it will be done without much fuss (or spitting on your food). Just, you know, be polite and respectful about it. (And if you have your doubts about the establishment, perhaps you'd be better off just requesting that meal be taken off your bill if you didn't eat most or all of it.) If it's just that you don't like what you ordered (and that can happen, sometimes you order something to try it and discover it's not to your liking), please just realize that because it isn't something you like the taste of doesn't give you right to cause a scene and insult the server, the chef, and the establishment.
Go ahead and present your side, and ask for what you want. Just please remember that you are a grown adult, not a spoiled three year old. You should be polite (or at least not rude and insulting) and not disrespectful (what's that saying? You catch more flies with honey than vinegar) and realize that perhaps what you want isn't going to be a possibility. If it's not, surely you can work something out with the manager and reach a compromise. What I mean is don't expect that if you eat your entire meal and then afterwards complain that it was awful that you'll get your entire table's check comped. Don't expect that if you insult or curse out anybody who will listen that you'll get very far. A more reasonable thing to do is speak up that you don't like it right away, and then perhaps accept the offer of another meal, free desert, or having that entrée taken off your bill. And that's all I'm saying. Please remember that you are not a medieval king and your server/the restaurant are not your subjects or servants. You can't have absolute and complete authority over them. You can't do unreasonable things or make ridiculous requests and expect them to happen. And after all, isn't that how it is in all other areas of your life too? (Unless the Rolling Stones lied to us and you can always get what you want.)
Anyway, I've rambled on way too long. Once again, to those of you who are mature adults and treat your servers with the kindness and respect they show you (well assuming they are a halfway decent server and treat you kindly and respectfully that is), thank you very much. You just might have made some poor server's day when you are understanding and reasonable. And no matter what, even if everything was wonderful and there weren't any problems, your kindness will be greatly appreciated. I know that gentleman with the bad fillet nearly had me crying tears of relief (lol ok I exaggerate a little), but even if I have a table that just enjoys everything the whole time and is pleasant, I'm still a very happy waitress.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Customers Restaurants Hate
Found this article about customers restaurants hate. I must say, it's pretty accurate.
Great Expectations
True, true. Unless you see some golden arches, it's gonna take a while for your food to be cooked. And yes, bigger tables take longer. Yes, when it's busy there is more food for the kitchen to cook and thus you will wait longer. And again, if you got that steak well done, that takes a good bit of time to cook, so either be patient or order it less done.
And no, there's really not a thing your server can do about it. They cannot make the food cook faster.
Trust the Chef
The vast majority of the time when food is sent back, it's the customer's fault. Yes, let me repeat that. The vast majority of the time when food is sent back, it's the customer's fault. Like the time a customer ordered a filet "medium rare" and then get mad when it came out a perfect medium rare because what they really wanted was (The absolutely disgusting) Pittsburgh rare (where basically it's just seared on the outsides, and the inside is so rare it's still cold. Ugh gross.) Or the one who ordered the chicken with amoretto cream sauce over pasta instead of with the side of potatoes ... and then complained when it was "too sweet." (The amoretto didn't clue you in to it being a sweet sauce?) Not that there aren't kitchen mistakes. There are, but most of the time either one of the kitchen staff or the server catches it before it goes out. I'm telling you, 90% of the time there's a problem with the food it isn't on the kitchen but the customer. They ordered the wrong thing, it just isn't to their particular tastes, they forgot to request special sides or to skip an ingredient, etc.
This Isn't Top Chef
Yes, absolutely inquire about something off menu if you want. Our job is to make you happy, so if you don't like something on the menu or really want something there, go ahead and ask. If we can do it, we will. However, a thousand times yes to where it says don't get mad if we can't. If we don't have it, we don't have it. Nothing we can do about that. It doesn't hurt to ask, so feel free to request it, but you've no right to get upset that we don't carry something not on the menu.
Don't Snap At the Waiter
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Do not disrespect your waiter by snapping at them or whistling at them. Are they a dog? No. They're a human being, and you need to treat them like they are one. Make eye contact or make a slight wave or say "excuse me, miss/sir/server's name, when you have a minute please" if you want to helped promptly. If you're rude to us, why would you not expect us to return the favor? If we have one table who's snapping at us and glaring in our direction and another that's asking politely, who do you think we're helping first? Yeah, the nice ones. You catch more flies with honey and all that.
Groupon Etiquette
Once again, you tip on the full, total amount of the check before any discount/gift card or gift certificates/coupons/etc. come off. If you have a $50 check and a $10 off coupon, you should tip based on $50 not $40. And be sure to read any rules/fine print for coupons. We must follow the conditions set forth by the people who issued the coupon. If we break them, we could get kicked out, which could cost us business. So find out the rules before hand if they're going to be a deal breaker.
They're Waiters, Not Accountants
This one I tend to disagree with. It seems as if there are very few places that don't have computer systems any more, so splitting the check up however (whether in equal parts, or by what everyone ordered) isn't so much a problem for most places. It's been ages since I've been at a place that doesn't use a computer.
But I do agree about asking for separate checks up front if it's a large party. If you're just splitting it up two ways, that's not so bad. But if you've got eight couples, then yes it is much easier for your server to split them at the start to keep it all straight. Also, it means they're less likely to split it up incorrectly and mess up your check by putting the wrong items on it, so it is to your advantage to say split them up this way from the start.
Just Show ID
I've never had anybody get mad about ID. I guess most people understand, and so they're willing to put up with the hassle. So thank you for not being jerks about it.
Closing Time
I cannot stress this enough. You may think coming in at 5 til close and staying an hour or an hour and a half is no big deal. But it kind of is. It keeps your server there, standing around doing nothing. There's sidework that needs to be done before your server can leave, and a lot of it cannot be done when there are customers. If you must be that jerk that keeps your server standing around for no reason, at least eat and leave. No taking your sweet time to eat your meal, no sitting around sipping endless cups of coffee after, no talking for half an hour when you're done. Eat and go. Or may I suggest getting your food to go? Then everybody wins. You get your food and your server isn't stuck there for over an hour.
Great Expectations
True, true. Unless you see some golden arches, it's gonna take a while for your food to be cooked. And yes, bigger tables take longer. Yes, when it's busy there is more food for the kitchen to cook and thus you will wait longer. And again, if you got that steak well done, that takes a good bit of time to cook, so either be patient or order it less done.
And no, there's really not a thing your server can do about it. They cannot make the food cook faster.
Trust the Chef
The vast majority of the time when food is sent back, it's the customer's fault. Yes, let me repeat that. The vast majority of the time when food is sent back, it's the customer's fault. Like the time a customer ordered a filet "medium rare" and then get mad when it came out a perfect medium rare because what they really wanted was (The absolutely disgusting) Pittsburgh rare (where basically it's just seared on the outsides, and the inside is so rare it's still cold. Ugh gross.) Or the one who ordered the chicken with amoretto cream sauce over pasta instead of with the side of potatoes ... and then complained when it was "too sweet." (The amoretto didn't clue you in to it being a sweet sauce?) Not that there aren't kitchen mistakes. There are, but most of the time either one of the kitchen staff or the server catches it before it goes out. I'm telling you, 90% of the time there's a problem with the food it isn't on the kitchen but the customer. They ordered the wrong thing, it just isn't to their particular tastes, they forgot to request special sides or to skip an ingredient, etc.
This Isn't Top Chef
Yes, absolutely inquire about something off menu if you want. Our job is to make you happy, so if you don't like something on the menu or really want something there, go ahead and ask. If we can do it, we will. However, a thousand times yes to where it says don't get mad if we can't. If we don't have it, we don't have it. Nothing we can do about that. It doesn't hurt to ask, so feel free to request it, but you've no right to get upset that we don't carry something not on the menu.
Don't Snap At the Waiter
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Do not disrespect your waiter by snapping at them or whistling at them. Are they a dog? No. They're a human being, and you need to treat them like they are one. Make eye contact or make a slight wave or say "excuse me, miss/sir/server's name, when you have a minute please" if you want to helped promptly. If you're rude to us, why would you not expect us to return the favor? If we have one table who's snapping at us and glaring in our direction and another that's asking politely, who do you think we're helping first? Yeah, the nice ones. You catch more flies with honey and all that.
Groupon Etiquette
Once again, you tip on the full, total amount of the check before any discount/gift card or gift certificates/coupons/etc. come off. If you have a $50 check and a $10 off coupon, you should tip based on $50 not $40. And be sure to read any rules/fine print for coupons. We must follow the conditions set forth by the people who issued the coupon. If we break them, we could get kicked out, which could cost us business. So find out the rules before hand if they're going to be a deal breaker.
They're Waiters, Not Accountants
This one I tend to disagree with. It seems as if there are very few places that don't have computer systems any more, so splitting the check up however (whether in equal parts, or by what everyone ordered) isn't so much a problem for most places. It's been ages since I've been at a place that doesn't use a computer.
But I do agree about asking for separate checks up front if it's a large party. If you're just splitting it up two ways, that's not so bad. But if you've got eight couples, then yes it is much easier for your server to split them at the start to keep it all straight. Also, it means they're less likely to split it up incorrectly and mess up your check by putting the wrong items on it, so it is to your advantage to say split them up this way from the start.
Just Show ID
I've never had anybody get mad about ID. I guess most people understand, and so they're willing to put up with the hassle. So thank you for not being jerks about it.
Closing Time
I cannot stress this enough. You may think coming in at 5 til close and staying an hour or an hour and a half is no big deal. But it kind of is. It keeps your server there, standing around doing nothing. There's sidework that needs to be done before your server can leave, and a lot of it cannot be done when there are customers. If you must be that jerk that keeps your server standing around for no reason, at least eat and leave. No taking your sweet time to eat your meal, no sitting around sipping endless cups of coffee after, no talking for half an hour when you're done. Eat and go. Or may I suggest getting your food to go? Then everybody wins. You get your food and your server isn't stuck there for over an hour.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Waiting
Since I am currently too busy with school and preparing for everything I need to do before I'm done with that and all, I have no idea what to write about. Again, if you want to know something, ask and I will tell.
But in the meantime, let's discuss the movie Waiting, shall we? (Since my sister got it for me for Christmas.)
This movie is a pretty accurate look at what it is like to work at a restaurant for the most part. Here's some scattered thoughts I have about it.
- Naomi. She cracks me up. Sure her anger is exaggerated, but we've all had our Naomi moments. We've all gone on a tirade about our boss scheduling so many people when it's so dead (or, conversely, having too few people on and having a night so freaking busy it's terrible. You just can't win in a restaurant.), mocked customers, then plastered on that fake smile and pretended to be happy to make nice to the customers.
- Foreigners. Kind of offensive, I guess, but sadly there's a bit of truth here. When you look at it from their point of view though, it's more understandable. In most countries that aren't the US, servers make minimum wage. Tips are extra for good service. Maybe they're not aware of how it is in the US (again, may I remind you all that servers make generally less than $3 an hour?), or maybe they don't realize how much is an acceptable amount to tip here. However, Asian business men tend to be an exception. They pretty much always tip the correct amount or tip generously.
- Sizing up the table. You know that scene where the hostess comes out and tells the servers they have tables? It's pretty true. We take stock of you before heading over, or after going over to go through our routine of introducing ourselves and getting your drinks. I don't mean that in a mean way. It's more like we study you, to know what our night is going to be like. We notice if you're very nice and in a good mood, if you're going to be needy and flag us down all night, if you're going to need a refill every two minutes, that kind of thing. We have to do it to do our job.
- Jerky guys who order for their date. I'm always surprised how many men do this. I always feel so awkward when I look at an address the woman at the table, only for the man to speak up over her and place her order for her. I don’t get it. Is it some kind of marking your territory thing? Look, she's sitting there at the table with you, so yeah we all know she's with you. No need to be a douche. She's her own person, let her order for herself.
- Fighting with each other. The part where Anna Farris's character shoves another server out of the way to put her order in the computer first always cracks me up. Everybody is in a rush to take care of their own tables, and sometimes it results in mad scrambles to get whatever it is you need before anyone else can. Sometimes the stress of a busy night can get to us, and we yell at each other. But really, it's all in good fun (at least where I work).
- Partying with each other after the shift is over. This is another thing that's very accurate. Servers do tend to do a lot of drinking after they get out of work. I guess we have to try to have as much as much as everybody else does in the weekend, but since we have to work the whole weekend while normal people are off, we have less time to cram it into.
- Older managers hitting on/hooking up with way too young for them employees. Maybe it's just a regional thing where I'm from, but more than one of my friends who work at restaurants have found their boyfriend this way. And several more bosses have asked out their employees.
- Pranks. We love to pull pranks on each other. Where I work, it's not a game involving flashing other people. We prefer to throw food at each other or down your shirt or put the most disgusting things you can think of in each other's drinks. We've also been known to saran things (purses, the contents of purses/wallets, somebody's supply of pills, cars) or move people's cars. You can pretty much be assured that something odd is probably going on in the back of the house during a slow night.
- Messing with food. We don't do this where I work. I would never work anywhere so disgusting and unprofessional, personally. But you know Monte's first rule? "Don’t fuck with people who bring your food." Yeah, that's not a bad rule to follow. There are too many sick people out there who get messed up ideas about what they should do to people they don't like. No reason they don't work in kitchens too.
- Discussing the biatches. Yes, we do this. If you piss us off, everyone else will hear about it. It's part venting, part sharing war stories, part warning, part just having fun making each other laugh by insulting that bitch who's treating you like dirt from table 12.
- That annoying table that comes in with 10 minutes until close. When you are told "we close [in a very short period of time]" the proper response is not "oh good, we just made it" it is "crap" as you walk out to go somewhere that is still open. To you, it't not a big deal. But to us, it certainly is. By this time, we likely have just about all of our side work done. We are ready to leave for the night. But instead, we now have to stand around doing jack shit for another hour (or way more, if you're an asshole who orders appetizers, soups, salads, entrees or talks forever after) as you enjoy your food. It's not like a store where you make your purchases and get out. It takes time. And we cannot do some of our clean up with you around. We cannot sweep under the tables and vacuum the floor with customers there. So this has to wait until you finally decide to leave. So that means we have to stay even longer when we should have been gone well over an hour, an hour and a half (or more) ago. And the thing that really pisses us off, these last minute customers never tip well and they sit around and talk for a long time after their meal is done in 90% of cases. Should you ever be one of these most annoying customers, tip your server well for their trouble and get the hell out of dodge when you're finished. (Now, I'm not saying bolt down your food in 5 minuntes and rush out. I'm just saying, when you are finished, pay, and leave; don't hang around.) Or if you want to sit and chat with friends for hours on end, why not get the food to go and eat it in the comfort of your house? Just don't make us stay for 2 hours so you can talk when you can do that at your house, the bar down the street, on the phone, or anywhere but where you make us waste our time and stand around doing nothing for no reason. Please.
But in the meantime, let's discuss the movie Waiting, shall we? (Since my sister got it for me for Christmas.)
This movie is a pretty accurate look at what it is like to work at a restaurant for the most part. Here's some scattered thoughts I have about it.
- Naomi. She cracks me up. Sure her anger is exaggerated, but we've all had our Naomi moments. We've all gone on a tirade about our boss scheduling so many people when it's so dead (or, conversely, having too few people on and having a night so freaking busy it's terrible. You just can't win in a restaurant.), mocked customers, then plastered on that fake smile and pretended to be happy to make nice to the customers.
- Foreigners. Kind of offensive, I guess, but sadly there's a bit of truth here. When you look at it from their point of view though, it's more understandable. In most countries that aren't the US, servers make minimum wage. Tips are extra for good service. Maybe they're not aware of how it is in the US (again, may I remind you all that servers make generally less than $3 an hour?), or maybe they don't realize how much is an acceptable amount to tip here. However, Asian business men tend to be an exception. They pretty much always tip the correct amount or tip generously.
- Sizing up the table. You know that scene where the hostess comes out and tells the servers they have tables? It's pretty true. We take stock of you before heading over, or after going over to go through our routine of introducing ourselves and getting your drinks. I don't mean that in a mean way. It's more like we study you, to know what our night is going to be like. We notice if you're very nice and in a good mood, if you're going to be needy and flag us down all night, if you're going to need a refill every two minutes, that kind of thing. We have to do it to do our job.
- Jerky guys who order for their date. I'm always surprised how many men do this. I always feel so awkward when I look at an address the woman at the table, only for the man to speak up over her and place her order for her. I don’t get it. Is it some kind of marking your territory thing? Look, she's sitting there at the table with you, so yeah we all know she's with you. No need to be a douche. She's her own person, let her order for herself.
- Fighting with each other. The part where Anna Farris's character shoves another server out of the way to put her order in the computer first always cracks me up. Everybody is in a rush to take care of their own tables, and sometimes it results in mad scrambles to get whatever it is you need before anyone else can. Sometimes the stress of a busy night can get to us, and we yell at each other. But really, it's all in good fun (at least where I work).
- Partying with each other after the shift is over. This is another thing that's very accurate. Servers do tend to do a lot of drinking after they get out of work. I guess we have to try to have as much as much as everybody else does in the weekend, but since we have to work the whole weekend while normal people are off, we have less time to cram it into.
- Older managers hitting on/hooking up with way too young for them employees. Maybe it's just a regional thing where I'm from, but more than one of my friends who work at restaurants have found their boyfriend this way. And several more bosses have asked out their employees.
- Pranks. We love to pull pranks on each other. Where I work, it's not a game involving flashing other people. We prefer to throw food at each other or down your shirt or put the most disgusting things you can think of in each other's drinks. We've also been known to saran things (purses, the contents of purses/wallets, somebody's supply of pills, cars) or move people's cars. You can pretty much be assured that something odd is probably going on in the back of the house during a slow night.
- Messing with food. We don't do this where I work. I would never work anywhere so disgusting and unprofessional, personally. But you know Monte's first rule? "Don’t fuck with people who bring your food." Yeah, that's not a bad rule to follow. There are too many sick people out there who get messed up ideas about what they should do to people they don't like. No reason they don't work in kitchens too.
- Discussing the biatches. Yes, we do this. If you piss us off, everyone else will hear about it. It's part venting, part sharing war stories, part warning, part just having fun making each other laugh by insulting that bitch who's treating you like dirt from table 12.
- That annoying table that comes in with 10 minutes until close. When you are told "we close [in a very short period of time]" the proper response is not "oh good, we just made it" it is "crap" as you walk out to go somewhere that is still open. To you, it't not a big deal. But to us, it certainly is. By this time, we likely have just about all of our side work done. We are ready to leave for the night. But instead, we now have to stand around doing jack shit for another hour (or way more, if you're an asshole who orders appetizers, soups, salads, entrees or talks forever after) as you enjoy your food. It's not like a store where you make your purchases and get out. It takes time. And we cannot do some of our clean up with you around. We cannot sweep under the tables and vacuum the floor with customers there. So this has to wait until you finally decide to leave. So that means we have to stay even longer when we should have been gone well over an hour, an hour and a half (or more) ago. And the thing that really pisses us off, these last minute customers never tip well and they sit around and talk for a long time after their meal is done in 90% of cases. Should you ever be one of these most annoying customers, tip your server well for their trouble and get the hell out of dodge when you're finished. (Now, I'm not saying bolt down your food in 5 minuntes and rush out. I'm just saying, when you are finished, pay, and leave; don't hang around.) Or if you want to sit and chat with friends for hours on end, why not get the food to go and eat it in the comfort of your house? Just don't make us stay for 2 hours so you can talk when you can do that at your house, the bar down the street, on the phone, or anywhere but where you make us waste our time and stand around doing nothing for no reason. Please.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
An Open Letter To Poor Tippers
Dear assholes who order two steak dinners and only tip $3,
That is not enough! That is barely even half of what is the absolute lowest considered acceptable. Your checks were $41 something and $35 a piece. In what universe do you live where being an asshole, bitching at the girl in charge, getting your way even though you shouldn't have, making me bend rules a bit, and then tipping me 7 or 8% is ok?
Please be advised that should I ever see your disgusting faces in my place of work again, I will not serve you. I will also let whoever the poor soul stuck with you rude, cheap bastards knows what jerks you really are so that they won't waste time being nice to you and giving you great service like I did. (And you're damn lucky that's all I would ever do. I would never spit in or mess with customer's food, but you sure make a good case for why someone might want to.)
No love at all, you cheap assholes,
M
Oh PS - I still made $90 that night, and my sales were just over $400. So that's 22, 23%. You didn't ruin my night at all. Don't take satisfication in teaching me some kind of lesson or whatever, cuz even with your ridiculously pathetic small tip I still made over $15 an hour in tips ... and it wasn't even a busy night really. So again, basically screw you.
That is not enough! That is barely even half of what is the absolute lowest considered acceptable. Your checks were $41 something and $35 a piece. In what universe do you live where being an asshole, bitching at the girl in charge, getting your way even though you shouldn't have, making me bend rules a bit, and then tipping me 7 or 8% is ok?
Please be advised that should I ever see your disgusting faces in my place of work again, I will not serve you. I will also let whoever the poor soul stuck with you rude, cheap bastards knows what jerks you really are so that they won't waste time being nice to you and giving you great service like I did. (And you're damn lucky that's all I would ever do. I would never spit in or mess with customer's food, but you sure make a good case for why someone might want to.)
No love at all, you cheap assholes,
M
Oh PS - I still made $90 that night, and my sales were just over $400. So that's 22, 23%. You didn't ruin my night at all. Don't take satisfication in teaching me some kind of lesson or whatever, cuz even with your ridiculously pathetic small tip I still made over $15 an hour in tips ... and it wasn't even a busy night really. So again, basically screw you.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Be Nice
Be nice to your server. Ok, I realize that's impossible for some people, so at the very least don't be mean. You don't know what s/he has to put up with at work. Allow me to offer up a picture of a not necessarily typical but not out of the ordinary weekend night at work.
So the night starts off like any other. Bitchy B, the evil bitch of a pain in my ass coworker, starts in on me. Making her stupid, snide, bitchy comments about every single thing I do. Whatever. After three years of dealing with this on a nightly basis, I'm used to this woman acting like a bratty, spoiled, immature child. I can deal with it. (And if you can believe it, I am capable of talking to her, even telling her back off, in such as a way as to not start problems. Imagine that, acting like a mature, grown adult and trying to get along and resolve any problems quickly and politely at work. Crazy, I know!)
Big Boss is on vacation. As with any workplace, when the boss is away employees will play. This means during this time, I'm living in fear of my purse being hijacked. I may go out after my shift is over to find my car moved (we used to have a server who was 6'4 or so … or about a good foot and a half taller than me. They once got him to move my car. I thought I was going to die seeing him try to get out of my car with the seat pulled up so close it's practically touching the steering wheel), that there's whipped cream in there, that my keys have been hidden, or any number of other "pranks" (my personal favorite? Individually saran-wrapping each and every one of B's pills – oh did I not mention B has a problem with that and gets in a really super shitty bitchy mood when she hasn't had her pills? – pills. It never gets old to them). Further more, Chef is now in charge. This means alternately slacking off and making my tables wait 15 minutes longer than they should for their food or getting on a high horse and trying to enforce all the rules that have gone by the wayside for the time Big Boss is away. It also means that there's nobody who can effectively call Stoner Chef on his bullshit. He's an arrogant asshole and doesn't even really listen to Big Boss, but forget it if someone else, even someone like Chef who's above him on the work totem pole, is a good employee and worker, and knows what she's talking about, is trying to say anything to him. This means that it takes him 20 minutes to get my desserts. He then goes off on me when I won't cut a piece of pie. First of all, you don't trust me in the kitchen. Hot shit and knives and me do not mix, for my own safety. Trust me. Second of all, it may not be hard to do, but I couldn't do it neatly and make the presentation look nice because I've never been shown how to do that. Why? IT'S NOT MY DAMN JOB. Which is my third point. Do I ask you to run food to my tables? Have the words "why can't you do it? Do you know how hard it is to run the pitcher of ice tea over to a table and refill their glasses?" or "it's not my job [said in regards to something that most definitely is the job of said person speaking and not in any way the job of the person they are speaking to]" come out of my mouth? No. Because I do my job. I expect the same of you, Stoner Chef. I don't know why, as time has shown I shouldn't.
As though the night isn't going well enough in the coworker department at this point, I am then kind of assaulted by Psycho D. It's a well known fact in the service industry that all dishwashers are crazy. However, D (who we rarely refer to by his name, it's always Crazy D) is a whole nother level. Bringing back a dish will result in us girls (at my work, the wait staff is all females, with only one exception) being called any and every name in the book. I don't care to repeat the foul things he says to or about us, but m-fing C is probably the most common epithet we get. Anyway, on this day as I have my tray and am setting glasses back on dishwasher rack, I am treated to being (lightly) smacked upside the head. "Don't hit me" I tell him firmly. He doesn't really have any response, except to say that he hopes I choke and die as I walk away. "D, I can hear you!" (The "you fucking asshole piece of shit" is added under my breath as I walk out of earshot). So great, in addition to being verbally assaulted by this fuckhead, I am now being physically assaulted as well. Just great. (This is also not the first, or worst, instance of being physically assaulted by him either. He once shoved the big, heavy door to the cooler into me as he walked past me. As he was coming from the side where he could see that I was there, I know it was done on purpose.)
This is all back of the house issues (Thankfully, on this night I didn't even have one asshole table. Everybody was wonderful and nice and patient during a crazy busy night … and they all tipped at least decently if not well. So that was good). They don't faze me too much (except the assault, which I should not have to put up with … yet I will because apparently there are no other crazy people or 16 year olds in town who could be hired to replace this jackass). I'm used to them. And like I said, I have this crazy idea about trying to get along with my coworkers and not start shit and trying to keep the work environment a good, friendly one. (I really shouldn't complain I guess. With the three exceptions listed above, Bitchy B, Stoner Chef, and Psycho D, I've never had a problem with anyone there. Nor do they have any problems with anyone else. Just those three create more than enough problems for the rest of us.) Every workplace has these people. There's always that one person who's miserable and makes it their mission to bring everybody else down and make them as miserable as they are. That person who acts like such a martyr, like they alone know the proper way to do everything around there and nobody else knows anything or ever does anything right, that they carry the weight of everybody else in the company. There's that person who thinks they're in charge, who acts like your boss when really you're on equal footing in the company. Who feels the need to police your every move, tell you how stupid you are for not doing it right, then go tattle on you. That person who goes on a total power trip, even if they are not given any kind of power. For me, these people are rolled into one with B. Then there's the person who's too cool for school, who thinks they're so much better than this. That they're like above the rules somehow or exempt from them. There's always one person who won't do their work, or tries to get you to do. This is Stoner Chef. It's a fact of any work place that you'll have to deal with people like that.
Well, it's not any different in a restaurant. Except that you have to brush that aside, plaster a big old smile on your face and act thrilled as hell to be there. You could argue you have to do similarly at any job that involves dealing with the public, and you do; however, in retail or customer service your pay isn't affected by how polite, happy, and nice you can be. If you're not overly smiley and friendly to a customer, it doesn't affect how much you make. When you're serving or bartending, it does. I'm sure you know how hard it is to pretend like you're not in a bad mood or act like you're not pissed off at a jerk customer or idiot coworker or something. Now just imagine if how much you make, and thus your livelihood, is affected by how well you can fake it. This is what it's like for a server. Remember the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." If you wouldn't want somebody being a jerk to you in that situation, don't you be one to someone else.
So the night starts off like any other. Bitchy B, the evil bitch of a pain in my ass coworker, starts in on me. Making her stupid, snide, bitchy comments about every single thing I do. Whatever. After three years of dealing with this on a nightly basis, I'm used to this woman acting like a bratty, spoiled, immature child. I can deal with it. (And if you can believe it, I am capable of talking to her, even telling her back off, in such as a way as to not start problems. Imagine that, acting like a mature, grown adult and trying to get along and resolve any problems quickly and politely at work. Crazy, I know!)
Big Boss is on vacation. As with any workplace, when the boss is away employees will play. This means during this time, I'm living in fear of my purse being hijacked. I may go out after my shift is over to find my car moved (we used to have a server who was 6'4 or so … or about a good foot and a half taller than me. They once got him to move my car. I thought I was going to die seeing him try to get out of my car with the seat pulled up so close it's practically touching the steering wheel), that there's whipped cream in there, that my keys have been hidden, or any number of other "pranks" (my personal favorite? Individually saran-wrapping each and every one of B's pills – oh did I not mention B has a problem with that and gets in a really super shitty bitchy mood when she hasn't had her pills? – pills. It never gets old to them). Further more, Chef is now in charge. This means alternately slacking off and making my tables wait 15 minutes longer than they should for their food or getting on a high horse and trying to enforce all the rules that have gone by the wayside for the time Big Boss is away. It also means that there's nobody who can effectively call Stoner Chef on his bullshit. He's an arrogant asshole and doesn't even really listen to Big Boss, but forget it if someone else, even someone like Chef who's above him on the work totem pole, is a good employee and worker, and knows what she's talking about, is trying to say anything to him. This means that it takes him 20 minutes to get my desserts. He then goes off on me when I won't cut a piece of pie. First of all, you don't trust me in the kitchen. Hot shit and knives and me do not mix, for my own safety. Trust me. Second of all, it may not be hard to do, but I couldn't do it neatly and make the presentation look nice because I've never been shown how to do that. Why? IT'S NOT MY DAMN JOB. Which is my third point. Do I ask you to run food to my tables? Have the words "why can't you do it? Do you know how hard it is to run the pitcher of ice tea over to a table and refill their glasses?" or "it's not my job [said in regards to something that most definitely is the job of said person speaking and not in any way the job of the person they are speaking to]" come out of my mouth? No. Because I do my job. I expect the same of you, Stoner Chef. I don't know why, as time has shown I shouldn't.
As though the night isn't going well enough in the coworker department at this point, I am then kind of assaulted by Psycho D. It's a well known fact in the service industry that all dishwashers are crazy. However, D (who we rarely refer to by his name, it's always Crazy D) is a whole nother level. Bringing back a dish will result in us girls (at my work, the wait staff is all females, with only one exception) being called any and every name in the book. I don't care to repeat the foul things he says to or about us, but m-fing C is probably the most common epithet we get. Anyway, on this day as I have my tray and am setting glasses back on dishwasher rack, I am treated to being (lightly) smacked upside the head. "Don't hit me" I tell him firmly. He doesn't really have any response, except to say that he hopes I choke and die as I walk away. "D, I can hear you!" (The "you fucking asshole piece of shit" is added under my breath as I walk out of earshot). So great, in addition to being verbally assaulted by this fuckhead, I am now being physically assaulted as well. Just great. (This is also not the first, or worst, instance of being physically assaulted by him either. He once shoved the big, heavy door to the cooler into me as he walked past me. As he was coming from the side where he could see that I was there, I know it was done on purpose.)
This is all back of the house issues (Thankfully, on this night I didn't even have one asshole table. Everybody was wonderful and nice and patient during a crazy busy night … and they all tipped at least decently if not well. So that was good). They don't faze me too much (except the assault, which I should not have to put up with … yet I will because apparently there are no other crazy people or 16 year olds in town who could be hired to replace this jackass). I'm used to them. And like I said, I have this crazy idea about trying to get along with my coworkers and not start shit and trying to keep the work environment a good, friendly one. (I really shouldn't complain I guess. With the three exceptions listed above, Bitchy B, Stoner Chef, and Psycho D, I've never had a problem with anyone there. Nor do they have any problems with anyone else. Just those three create more than enough problems for the rest of us.) Every workplace has these people. There's always that one person who's miserable and makes it their mission to bring everybody else down and make them as miserable as they are. That person who acts like such a martyr, like they alone know the proper way to do everything around there and nobody else knows anything or ever does anything right, that they carry the weight of everybody else in the company. There's that person who thinks they're in charge, who acts like your boss when really you're on equal footing in the company. Who feels the need to police your every move, tell you how stupid you are for not doing it right, then go tattle on you. That person who goes on a total power trip, even if they are not given any kind of power. For me, these people are rolled into one with B. Then there's the person who's too cool for school, who thinks they're so much better than this. That they're like above the rules somehow or exempt from them. There's always one person who won't do their work, or tries to get you to do. This is Stoner Chef. It's a fact of any work place that you'll have to deal with people like that.
Well, it's not any different in a restaurant. Except that you have to brush that aside, plaster a big old smile on your face and act thrilled as hell to be there. You could argue you have to do similarly at any job that involves dealing with the public, and you do; however, in retail or customer service your pay isn't affected by how polite, happy, and nice you can be. If you're not overly smiley and friendly to a customer, it doesn't affect how much you make. When you're serving or bartending, it does. I'm sure you know how hard it is to pretend like you're not in a bad mood or act like you're not pissed off at a jerk customer or idiot coworker or something. Now just imagine if how much you make, and thus your livelihood, is affected by how well you can fake it. This is what it's like for a server. Remember the golden rule. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you." If you wouldn't want somebody being a jerk to you in that situation, don't you be one to someone else.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Bartending Secrets
After reading this article , here is my take. It's super annoying that you need to go to a new page for each one, so I'll just copy and paste here and then put my thoughts.
1. Yell, whistle, or wave money and I'm going to make you wait. Make eye contact and smile, and I'll come over as soon as I can. Know what you want and have your money ready. Don't create a traffic jam.
Agreed. If you can't be bothered to address me or get my attention in a polite manner, or at least one that isn't completely lacking in any respect or basic human dignity, I sure won't be bothered to get to your table any time soon. Yelling is just downright rude and disrespectful. I've mentioned whistling several times, and I imagine I will continue to do so because it pisses me off so much (your server/bartender is not a dog, goddamnit). I've never seen someone wave money but I imagine my eyes would get very strained from trying not to roll them a lot. How much of a douche and asshole can you be? And also agreed about knowing what you want. Nothing is more annoying than people who don't know what they want but won't ask for a few minutes. Look, unless it's time to close, nobody cares if you need more time. I fucking hate standing at my table for a few minutes while some asshole tries to decide. I have other stuff to do, just let me go while you try to choose. I also hate standing by the table waiting. It makes me feel like an asshole, like I'm up your ass or pressuring you or hovering … and nobody wants that. Seriously. Just say "can I have another minute please?"
2. Start a tab. If I swipe your card five times this evening, that’s five times as much paperwork I have to do at 4 a.m.
Agreed. Ok so there's really not any paperwork for me personally to do, but having to swipe a card so many times just is annoying. And why on earth would you want so many separate charges for the same place, the same night on your bill? Do all of us a favor, especially yourself, and put it all on one tab.
3. You want a drink made "strong?" Then order a double—for double the price.
There is nothing more to say about this. Your bartender can't give you something and not charge for it. You really shouldn't ask. If you need it that bad, order the double or just drink more. Although doubles aren't double the price.
(In the interest of full disclosure, there is one fine southern gentleman who's a very frequently regular. He's nice to us (he's kind of a friend actually), and he tips us fabulously (he once gave me a $5 tip on a $6 breakfast. He didn't have money to give me the tip that day, but like a week later when I saw him again he made up for it). For him, we make an exception provided the boss isn't around. So perhaps if you're a great tipper, always tip well, and get to be kinda friends with your bartender you just might be able to get it. Just be sure to ask nicely and in a way to make sure the bartender knows you're not pressuring her and that you won't be mad if s/he can't.)
4. Liquor sales in bars and restaurants were down 2.2 percent last year. Even beer sales are slow. But people scrimp on food first, drinks second.
Thankfully, we've been able to keep our sales up in this recession. Sure this summer is terrible so far, completely dead and awful and no money to be made. But I suppose when the food is incredible, the portions big (big enough for two meals even), the prices good for how much you get, and the service generally very good, people will make it a point to visit you when they go out. Hell, since I started working there, the county I work in started a 10% drink tax. I can't say that I noticed any decline in sales. People want to drink, so they will anyway I guess.
5. A lot of bars have comp tabs, which allows me to give away drinks. It's smart business and helps build a base of regulars.
If this is the case, why the hell is the only perk I've gotten from bars a cd courtesy of the dj? Please. I spent more than my share of time at a local watering hole, and never did I see someone get a free drink. I demand to see proof of this! *g*
6. Bars that don't have regulars (in hotels, airports) have started using wireless gadgets that measure how much is poured and automatically ring up each shot. They're meant to prevent overpouring and to cut losses, but I don't like them—neither do customers.
Is that like some kind of machine to automatically pour for you? I can get behind that then, less work for me. Hehe.
7. If your tipping guideline is still "a buck a drink," listen closely: That doesn't fly if you order a $12 cocktail. Tip at least 15 percent.
A buck a drink only works if you're drinking beer. Beer that is $6 or less a pop.
8. At some bars, the sliced fruit garnishes sit out until they’re gone, sometimes for days. Munch accordingly.
I hate to say, this is probably true. Any decent, conscientious bartender will pitch them when they've gone bad, so you're not going to get something old and rotting or moldy … but I wouldn't count on it being freshly cut.
9. The smoothest guys compliment a woman, then walk away—it's very nonthreatening.
I have to say, that does sound infinitely better than the creeps who always try to talk to me. But I have no experience being smooth nor a guy, so what do I know?
10. I have the police on speed dial, and I never hesitate to call.
Any sane bartender would agree with this. People get stupid, and often violent, when they're wasted. And no establishment is going to risk any potential lawsuits or damages.
11. Don't order a round of drinks after last call. Last call applies to everyone—even you.
The whole point of last call? For you to get your last drink so we can start doing our clean up and get the hell home. I don't give a shit who you are (or who you think you are), nor how much you want another. Once last call is done, it's done. Just don't even do it.
12. Some of us get a cut from the cab company when we call a taxi for a tipsy patron. Not that I've ever done that, of course.
This is not my experience. We close early, we aren't really a bar so there's nobody sitting there for hours getting drunk, and I'm not even sure there are any cab companies anywhere near me.
13. Last week, a couple had a little too much and got into a dumb argument, then asked me to choose the "winner" of the fight. There isn't a tip big enough to get me involved in that situation!
A million times yes. First of all, you shouldn't be arguing in a bar, in public, anyway. Save the personal shit like for a more appropriate time when you're alone together. Second of all, like I said before I don't know you or your situation, so why do you care what I think? Just don't do ask for an opinion.
1. Yell, whistle, or wave money and I'm going to make you wait. Make eye contact and smile, and I'll come over as soon as I can. Know what you want and have your money ready. Don't create a traffic jam.
Agreed. If you can't be bothered to address me or get my attention in a polite manner, or at least one that isn't completely lacking in any respect or basic human dignity, I sure won't be bothered to get to your table any time soon. Yelling is just downright rude and disrespectful. I've mentioned whistling several times, and I imagine I will continue to do so because it pisses me off so much (your server/bartender is not a dog, goddamnit). I've never seen someone wave money but I imagine my eyes would get very strained from trying not to roll them a lot. How much of a douche and asshole can you be? And also agreed about knowing what you want. Nothing is more annoying than people who don't know what they want but won't ask for a few minutes. Look, unless it's time to close, nobody cares if you need more time. I fucking hate standing at my table for a few minutes while some asshole tries to decide. I have other stuff to do, just let me go while you try to choose. I also hate standing by the table waiting. It makes me feel like an asshole, like I'm up your ass or pressuring you or hovering … and nobody wants that. Seriously. Just say "can I have another minute please?"
2. Start a tab. If I swipe your card five times this evening, that’s five times as much paperwork I have to do at 4 a.m.
Agreed. Ok so there's really not any paperwork for me personally to do, but having to swipe a card so many times just is annoying. And why on earth would you want so many separate charges for the same place, the same night on your bill? Do all of us a favor, especially yourself, and put it all on one tab.
3. You want a drink made "strong?" Then order a double—for double the price.
There is nothing more to say about this. Your bartender can't give you something and not charge for it. You really shouldn't ask. If you need it that bad, order the double or just drink more. Although doubles aren't double the price.
(In the interest of full disclosure, there is one fine southern gentleman who's a very frequently regular. He's nice to us (he's kind of a friend actually), and he tips us fabulously (he once gave me a $5 tip on a $6 breakfast. He didn't have money to give me the tip that day, but like a week later when I saw him again he made up for it). For him, we make an exception provided the boss isn't around. So perhaps if you're a great tipper, always tip well, and get to be kinda friends with your bartender you just might be able to get it. Just be sure to ask nicely and in a way to make sure the bartender knows you're not pressuring her and that you won't be mad if s/he can't.)
4. Liquor sales in bars and restaurants were down 2.2 percent last year. Even beer sales are slow. But people scrimp on food first, drinks second.
Thankfully, we've been able to keep our sales up in this recession. Sure this summer is terrible so far, completely dead and awful and no money to be made. But I suppose when the food is incredible, the portions big (big enough for two meals even), the prices good for how much you get, and the service generally very good, people will make it a point to visit you when they go out. Hell, since I started working there, the county I work in started a 10% drink tax. I can't say that I noticed any decline in sales. People want to drink, so they will anyway I guess.
5. A lot of bars have comp tabs, which allows me to give away drinks. It's smart business and helps build a base of regulars.
If this is the case, why the hell is the only perk I've gotten from bars a cd courtesy of the dj? Please. I spent more than my share of time at a local watering hole, and never did I see someone get a free drink. I demand to see proof of this! *g*
6. Bars that don't have regulars (in hotels, airports) have started using wireless gadgets that measure how much is poured and automatically ring up each shot. They're meant to prevent overpouring and to cut losses, but I don't like them—neither do customers.
Is that like some kind of machine to automatically pour for you? I can get behind that then, less work for me. Hehe.
7. If your tipping guideline is still "a buck a drink," listen closely: That doesn't fly if you order a $12 cocktail. Tip at least 15 percent.
A buck a drink only works if you're drinking beer. Beer that is $6 or less a pop.
8. At some bars, the sliced fruit garnishes sit out until they’re gone, sometimes for days. Munch accordingly.
I hate to say, this is probably true. Any decent, conscientious bartender will pitch them when they've gone bad, so you're not going to get something old and rotting or moldy … but I wouldn't count on it being freshly cut.
9. The smoothest guys compliment a woman, then walk away—it's very nonthreatening.
I have to say, that does sound infinitely better than the creeps who always try to talk to me. But I have no experience being smooth nor a guy, so what do I know?
10. I have the police on speed dial, and I never hesitate to call.
Any sane bartender would agree with this. People get stupid, and often violent, when they're wasted. And no establishment is going to risk any potential lawsuits or damages.
11. Don't order a round of drinks after last call. Last call applies to everyone—even you.
The whole point of last call? For you to get your last drink so we can start doing our clean up and get the hell home. I don't give a shit who you are (or who you think you are), nor how much you want another. Once last call is done, it's done. Just don't even do it.
12. Some of us get a cut from the cab company when we call a taxi for a tipsy patron. Not that I've ever done that, of course.
This is not my experience. We close early, we aren't really a bar so there's nobody sitting there for hours getting drunk, and I'm not even sure there are any cab companies anywhere near me.
13. Last week, a couple had a little too much and got into a dumb argument, then asked me to choose the "winner" of the fight. There isn't a tip big enough to get me involved in that situation!
A million times yes. First of all, you shouldn't be arguing in a bar, in public, anyway. Save the personal shit like for a more appropriate time when you're alone together. Second of all, like I said before I don't know you or your situation, so why do you care what I think? Just don't do ask for an opinion.
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